It's A Preemie World

New Blog!

2010-07-22T13:26:00.002-04:00

I guess I should post here that I started a new blog recently! Come and visit me over there and follow me on that blog, if you'd like. I plan on keeping this one up, but not posting on it anymore. Thanks for reading the past couple years (or however long you've been here)!

Ryan's Peepers

2010-05-04T20:57:00.002-04:00

Totally slacking on blogging again, but I thought I should at least update on Ryan's sedated eye exam yesterday. He has had glaucoma in his right eye (his "bad" eye) since the NICU. He gets 2 different eye drops a day (one in the AM and PM and another just PM). He was on the same 2 drops from the time he was in the NICU up until one year ago. Last May when he had a sedated exam done, the pressure was elevated in his right eye even with the drops. So his opthalmologist changed the drops and we went back for another exam in July to see if they were working and they were. Well, yesterday the pressure was back up in his right eye. (His left/"good" eye is still doing great...no problems other than the nearsightedness.) Dr. B. told me that one option would be to increase his one eye drop to 3 times a day, but that's not usually tolerated well in kids. He also doesn't want to start him on anything oral. So he wants to try him on Timolol, which is a beta blocker and it will decrease fluid production in the eye, hopefully decreasing the pressure. He has me a bit nervous about it because he told me to watch Ryan for difficulty breathing or being easily tired out. He is on the lowest possible dose, though, and Dr. B. thinks he will be fine. He goes back August 4th for a regular visit and we'll go from there!

Ryan did really well yesterday, but the anesthesiologist really ticked me off. Right before he came in to see Ryan, the nurse had put the drops in Ryan's eyes to dilate them so he would be ready for the exam. Ryan flipped out a little because they burned and he was still settling down when the anesthesiologist came in. He was talking about giving him Versed to calm him down (which I would have NEVER agreed to), but then said we'd wait and see how he was in a few minutes. Then his brilliant idea to get Ryan to go back with them without freaking out was to tell him they were taking him to a game room and Ryan got SO excited. So when I went back to see Ryan after it was over and he was awake, that was the very first thing he asked about. And he kept asking to go to the game room up until we left. I somehow managed to get him out of there without him totally flipping out. We had to stop over at the optical place to pick up his new prescription and he did fine in there. Then he slept in the car the whole hour ride home. I gave him the choice between stopping at McDonald's or for Chinese and he picked Chinese, so we had lunch together before we went to my mom and dad's (my mom kept Brooke while I took Ryan). Luckily he seemed to forget about the game room.

Here's hoping the Timolol works and Ryan has no ill effects from it!

Wordless Wednesday - Photobucket Fun

2010-04-21T09:47:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday - All Because of a Bandaid on Her Toe...

2010-04-14T08:39:00.006-04:00

What a weekend!

2010-04-13T12:13:00.027-04:00

It was long and tiring, but good. Really, really good :-). Friday after Ryan got home from school we headed out to Joe's. We had tickets for the Shrine circus Saturday morning and it was easier to just stay over Friday night. The kids played and we ate dinner and then Ryan threw a 30 minute tantrum because he didn't want to watch a movie before bed and he didn't want to go to bed yet, either. It was insane. He finally settled down and ended up going right to bed anyway for acting the way he did. It was almost 8:30 by that time anyway.

Saturday morning we got up and got ready and we were out the door for the circus at 9am. We got there about a half an hour before showtime and you could buy tickets for elephant or pony rides or for the inflatable slide or to get your picture taken with a snake. Both boys wanted to try the slide. I was worried about Ryan being able to climb up it because it was steep and he struggles with things like that at times, but he did great and loved it. This is something he never would have even tried a year or so ago :-).

I wasn't sure how Ryan and Brooke would do during the show, but they really surprised me. Their favorite acts surprisingly weren't the animals, but the trapeze acts. I really enjoyed them, too. The tigers were beautiful. I think I would be scared to death to work with them lol...ANY wild animal for that matter! Brooke even managed to fall asleep on my lap right before intermission and slept the whole way through intermission. LOL. Thank goodness for that tiny catnap! Speaking of cats....

They even incorporated Batman and the Joker in to the show. Cole is a big fan and he was mesmerized! A little too nervous to meet Batman after the show, though.

Ryan wanted one of the light up swords in the worst way.

The circus ended around 1:00 and we were crazy enough to head straight to the zoo after that ;-). This month you can get a free admission with every pair of old prescription eyeglasses you turn in, so we all ended up getting in for free :-). The kids were a little more trying there than at the circus and Ryan had one pretty minor and short-lived tantrum, but overall it really wasn't that bad. The weather was perfect and not too hot, so that made it really nice.

On the way home we stopped and got some KFC to take home and eat for dinner. Then we took the kids outside to play for the rest of the evening. They played on the trampoline and swingset in the backyard and then we took them in the driveway and they played with the Power Wheel and wagon. They all had a blast and burnt off a lot of energy.

Not sure what is funnier here...her hair or Myron peeking over the side of the trampoline lol.

I make Ryan take his glasses off while on the trampoline. Don't need another pair broken lol.

It's hard to get pics of Ryan smiling, so this is a great shot.

Crazy hair even off the trampoline lol.

Yet another fear Ryan has gotten over...Power Wheels. He had a Jeep for like 3 years and probably spent more time in this car Saturday evening than he did the whole 3 years he had his Jeep.

I can't tell you how much I LOVE this picture of Ryan! It is so, so rare to get such a nice smile from him!

Trying to get a pic of all 3 of them looking at the camera was NOT happening. LOL.

Here's the best one of Brooke.

And the best one of Cole.

And here is one of Ryan after fleeing the scene lol. Another GREAT shot!!

And I think this one pretty much sums up how we were all feeling at the end of the day Saturday ;-).

I just have to say that Ryan had such a wonderful day Saturday, even with all the excitement. He was the best behaved out of the 3 of them and honestly, that is rare, even though he is the oldest. He did have the one tantrum at the zoo, but aside from that he was overall pleasant and agreeable all day. It was sooo nice and gives me a glimmer of hope that one day that will be the norm instead of the exception.

All 3 kids watched a movie before bed and had a snack and they all went to bed without a fight and fell asleep quickly. It was a long day!

Sunday morning we got up and went to church. Ryan surprised me yet again with agreeing to Sunday school and then actually doing it without a fuss, even after having a tantrum right before we left. He enjoyed it! Brooke went to the 2 year old nursery and she had fun and did great as well. I really enjoyed going...it's been way too long since I've been to church!

After church we headed to Walmart to get a few things. Ryan had another tantrum as we left there, but again it passed quickly. We stopped at Steak'n'Shake for lunch and then went back to the house. Brooke went down for a MUCH needed nap and Ryan and Cole played outside. We hung out there until around 5 when Cole's mom picked him up and then we headed home, Ryan riding with me and Brooke with Joe, so Ryan and I could have a little one on one time since we don't get a whole lot of that anymore. Not too long after getting home, the kids went to bed, but not before Ryan had yet another tantrum that lasted about 20 minutes. You can see why Saturday was such a big deal to me ;-). Joe and I watched some TV and had a late dinner and I fell asleep on the couch around 10 while he was doing some work on his laptop lol. One word - exhaustion.

If you made it through all of that, then you can see why it was a long and tiring weekend ;-). But a great one!

Wordless Wednesday - Easter Comparison

2010-04-07T09:50:00.003-04:00

(Ryan always turns his head to the left because it's how he can focus his good eye the best.)

Easter

2010-04-05T20:15:00.018-04:00

We had a great Easter this year. The kids got their baskets in the morning and then we got ready and went over to my mom and dad's around 10. The kids got their Easter present from my parents and we had an egg hunt with them, which they loved. Their dad picked them up at noon and took them over to his mom and dad's for dinner, an egg hunt, and cake and ice cream for Brooke's birthday. I picked them up at 4 and took them back to my mom and dad's and we had dinner an then another egg hunt since they loved the first one so much. Of course I have pictures to share :-).

Brooke's basket...she got a My Little Pony, stuffed duck, Littlest Pet Shop bunny, 2 mini baby dolls, and candy.

And Ryan's basket....he got Yahtzee Jr., a How To Train Your Dragon egg, a Play-Doh play set, extra Play-Doh, and candy.

Brooke getting excited because she saw me carrying the baskets in. She said, "Awww, cute!" LOL.

Checking out the loot.

She loves the bendy rabbit.

She emptied it out in no time lol.

He loved the sports ball eggs.

And the dragon egg.

The kids' gift from my mom and dad.

Reading the sidewalk crayons package. He will read (or try to read) anything.

Brooke was standing at the window calling for Pap when he was outside.

Trying out the sidewalk crayons.

One wasn't enough :-P. LOL.

Ryan liked cleaning the writing off. Brooke was trying to write with the wrong end of the (closed) marker lol.

That's better.

Ryan drew an Easter egg :-).

LOL at Brooke's expression!

Picture Post

2010-04-03T21:14:00.018-04:00

If you want to see some pictures, then you'll like this post. Thursday evening the kids and I headed out to Joe's to color eggs. The kids ended up doing more playing in the backyard than coloring eggs on the patio, but they had a ton of fun. Friday afternoon we took them to an egg hunt on a farm. It was nice and laidback and not chaotic at all. The Easter Bunny was there, so the kids got to see him (her? lol) again. Brooke LOVES the Easter Bunny. Not a whole lot to say, but here are some pictures.

I asked him to smile...this is what I got.

Myron and Brooke

She still loves the swings! This was her first time on them this year. I thought she might be scared at first, but she wasn't.

Climbing up like a big girl.

She used to be terrified of slides, but not anymore!

Time to colore a few eggs. The whisks worked out great for dipping them!

Helping Brooke do an egg.

The finished products.

Ryan didn't want to sit with the Easter Bunny for some reason and I wasn't pushing it with him. It would have been nice to have all 3 kiddos in the pic, though....

I love this shot Joe got of Cole during the egg hunt.

The boys with their baskets of eggs.

Cole, Brooke, and me....she was stylin' in her shades lol.
It was H-O-T.

Wordless Wednesday - Sweet Dreams

2010-03-31T07:44:00.004-04:00

One night found the kids sleeping in the same position when I checked on them before I went to bed. I had to grab my camera...

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2010-03-30T21:49:00.002-04:00

Have I mentioned I really dislike full moons? Why do they have to make some people act so crazy?
I'm so excited for it to get warm out again tomorrow! Might be able to break out the shorts this weekend :-).
Brooke pooped in the potty twice in the last week (last Wednesday and Friday)! Both times she told me "Ewww, poop." and I thought she went in her diaper, but hadn't. So I took her diaper off and sat her on the potty and she didn't sit the whole time, but went about 10 minutes later :-). Unfortunately she thinks it's gross and maybe kind of scary and runs away saying "Ewww, cucky" and Friday even cried :-X. I have it on video, but you can see her naked butt, so I don't want to post it lol.
The string from the Mickey balloon from Brooke's party got detached and now Mickey is stuck to the living room ceiling (how is *that for random?).
Brooke seems to be getting infatuated with baby dolls and I secretly (or maybe not so secretly) love it.
I think I'm out of random things to write about for tonight....

ShooShoos Giveaway

2010-03-29T21:50:00.001-04:00

Cat over at 3 Kids and Us (awesome blog, by the way!) is having a giveaway where you can win a free pair of ShooShoos baby/toddler shoes! Entering is SO easy and doesn't take long at all. Go check it out :-).

My baby is 2 :'(

2010-03-29T14:17:00.015-04:00

Brooke turned 2 on Friday (yes, I'm behind, as usual). Sooo hard to believe it's been 2 whole years since spending pretty much a week straight in the hospital with preterm labor before she was born at 9:52pm on March 26th, 2008 at 27 weeks 4 days, weighing 2lbs. 10oz. Even harder to believe that despite her early arrival, she is developing right on track (maybe even ahead in some areas) for her actual age and has no health issues. She is just a tiny little peanut, weighing only about 21 1/2lbs. and about 32 1/2in.

We had her birthday party Saturday afternoon at my mom and dad's since they have a bit more room and a more open layout. The theme was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse because Brooke is just in LOVE with Mickey Mouse. She can spot him a mile away when we're at the store lol. The cake I wanted to order was discontinued literally like a week before I ordered, so we ended up getting a Yo Gabba Gabba (another favorite) cake instead. She loved the cake and started digging in while we were singing Happy Birthday. She ended up eating 2 pieces! She was also pretty in to opening gifts. She really made out and got a lot of toys and clothes and even a couple pairs of shoes (another love of hers). Here are just a few pictures from her party!

One of the few pics I got of Ryan :-(.

Brooke, Cole, and Frankie playing on the sunporch.

Gotta point out her awesome shoes (Rocket Dogs) that I got for her on Thursday ;-).

Her first pair of heels...and the heel even lights up! LOL.

The front of the box somehow got smushed in to the cake...oh well.

She loved the cake :-).

Loved eating it, too ;-)

A birthday vent

2010-03-24T13:45:00.003-04:00

The day started out fine, not really sure what happened. But now I just have this constant anxious feeling and am on the verge of tears. I hate when I get like this and can't even pinpoint exactly what the issue is. Luckily it doesn't happen very often anymore. But when it does it can be hard to snap myself out of it.

Sometimes I think it's just that life in general feels SO overwhelming....being an adult and a mother and worrying about everything that goes along with that. I tend to worry a lot....sometimes about things I really shouldn't worry about because there's no point in it.

My school situation (or lack thereof) has me SERIOUSLY anxious and stressed out. I feel like I have to go to school, but I really don't WANT to. It's more than not *wanting to...like I said, I am really freaking out about it...to the point it makes me cry.

Today I am also thinking about my birthday two years ago when I was readmitted to the hospital in labor with Brooke, wondering how much longer I was going to be able to keep her safe inside. She turns 2 on Friday and I think it is also hitting me that she is my LAST baby and she really isn't a baby anymore :*(. I don't even know that I would ever want another baby, but the fact that I *can't* have anymore is hard to swallow sometimes....and I will always miss my kids as babies. It goes by SO fast, yet those early days can seem to drag on forever.

Well, this is a pretty depressing post, huh? Ugh. Thought it would help me feel better to type it out, but I don't think it really worked. Oh well.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2010-03-23T19:06:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking (once again) about shutting this blog down...or at least making it inactive. I suck at writing on it anymore....
I think Brooke would take 5+ baths a day if possible. Every time I turn around she is taking her clothes off and yelling "A baff!". Even if she just had one.
I hate full moons. Full moon + Ryan = chaos
Blogs that have music playing on them bug me. I can't read and listen to music at the same time, so I either mute the sound on the computer or pause/disable the music on the blog before I start reading.
I am getting a little anxious for Ryan's appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday. Just not too sure what to expect. And his dad is going along and riding with us since he doesn't have a vehicle anymore and the appointment is about 40 minutes away, so that should make it more interesting. Not that I expect there to be any problems, but it could be awkward.
I will admit I have somewhat mixed feelings on the fact that he has finally *SEEMED to want to have a (sort of) active role in the kids' lives and see them every other weekend....finally, after 6 months. We shall see if it lasts...
I wonder how many people *actually read here anymore. Would you PLEASE leave me a comment if you do (even if you've never commented before)?? Maybe it will help me decide on whether or not to keep this up and running. I think anyone that reads here probably either knows me "in real life" and/or is on my Facebook and keeps up with me and the kids there.

Look who's (almost) TWO!

2010-03-23T13:20:00.014-04:00

I used to be really anal about not taking the kids for their birthday pictures until after their actual birthday, but I guess I'm mellowing out in my old age ;-). I took Brooke to Sears today even though her birthday isn't until Friday. She cried some at her 1 year pics, but not at her 18 month pics, so I wasn't sure what to expect. As soon as we walked in to the little room she started crying. She was terrified of the big, plastic "2" for some reason. I did get her calmed down pretty fast and used to the "2". Then she was afraid of the stool we had her sit on lol. She loosened up a little bit, but was pretty cautious the whole time. We did manage to get some good shots, though, and it was a little hard to choose!

I ordered Brooke's shirt from Star Creek Creations, her tutu is from Maggie's Rose Garden, and I just happened to find bows to match EXACTLY at Gymboree.

Wordless Wednesday - Sneak Peek...

2010-03-17T07:56:00.001-04:00

...at Brooke's birthday outfit.

Wordless Wednesday - Swinging in to Spring

2010-03-10T09:39:00.002-05:00

Last year....

Can't wait to see what she thinks of them this year!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2010-03-09T20:40:00.004-05:00

Jayme has inspired me to take part in Random Tuesday Thoughts, so here we go....

The school finally completed their autism evaluation on Ryan that was first "ordered" back in September. It was just started a couple weeks ago, so it took that long just to get the ball rolling. We go on the 25th to see the psychiatrist and go over their findings and see what they have to say.

Brooke is going to give me gray hair. Tonight she climbed the entertainment center to get the remote, which was on the very top. She fell, but didn't get hurt. She was just TICKED because after all that I took the remote from her anyway.

Today *really felt like spring! It was amazing! :::crossing fingers for no more (significant) snow:::

I LOVE Scrabble. And I LOVE that today I found Scrabble Jr. at Goodwill for $1.99. Ryan, Miss Arlene (his TSS), and I played it this afternoon. Ryan loved it!

I am TERRIFIED of going back to school, but know I need to do it. I picked medical coding and I am hoping it is at least tolerable. There is nothing I can think of that I really *want to go for :-/. I should be starting in May....

At least once a day, Brooke takes her clothes off and demands a "baff" (bath). LOL. It is cute, but she gets VERY mad if she doesn't actually get a "baff".

Several times a day, Brooke tells me "bye bye". When I ask her where she wants to go, she says "Walmart". LOL. She just wants to go *somewhere, doesn't really care *where.

I am addicted to reading other people's blogs. Right now my favorite is Yo Mama's Blog. I'm not sure I've read one of her posts (and I've read them all) without LOL (literally) at least once.

Not only is Brooke's birthday this month (26th), but so is mine (24th), my brother-in-law's (25th), my mom's (28th), AND my dad's (31st)! Insanity. Brooke is having a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse birthday party :-).

I am head over heels in love with a perfect (for me) guy and I couldn't be happier or more thankful for him! I can't even describe how amazing it is to be in a healthy relationship with someone that I can really talk to and know is there for me (and the kids). It is like I found a piece of me that I never knew was missing :-).

And that's all for now, folks! 'Night!

It's been 6 months...

2010-03-05T21:33:00.004-05:00

....almost to the day, since Brooke was sick, pretty much same symptoms except this time she didn't get all the nasty mucus (YAY).

September 6, 2009

March 3, 2010

But my real reason for blogging tonight is that today marks 6 months since we moved in to this apartment. In some ways it feels like much longer and in other ways it seems like just yesterday. I was really excited to be starting a new chapter in my life, although it was scary at the same time. I had never lived on my own, having gotten married at 19 and still lived at home up to that point. And now I had two kids to worry about as well. But I knew that I had a lot of support between family and friends and that somehow it would all be okay. Brooke was just coming down with a yucky cold and had a fever and was very clingy that evening, so the first night was a bit stressful. We had a very long night and I couldn't wait for morning. It felt very lonely. Surprisingly Ryan went to bed just fine that night in his new room in our new place. I didn't expect that, so it was a nice surprise.

It still amazes me sometimes that I really did it. That I finally got up the guts and courage to move forward and do what needed to be done. I tried for so long to make things work or even just pretend that everything was okay and that I could just deal with what was going on and not have to split our (far from) happy little family up. But it finally got to the point where I knew I just had to do it, no matter how scary it was, if not for me then at least for the kids. And I have no regrets about doing it. There was absolutely no saving the marriage. I have been happier in the last 6 months than I have been the last 6 years. It took a long time to do what needed to be done and I am so proud of myself that I finally did it :-).

Wordless Wednesday - Wishing for Spring

2010-03-03T09:46:00.003-05:00

Brooke modeling some of her spring/summer wardrobe....

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

2010-03-02T12:06:00.004-05:00

Ryan came home yesterday dressed as the Cat in the Hat in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday today :-). They are having a birthday party at school today, but unfortunately Ryan had to miss it because he has a cold and was coughing nonstop the first hour after he got up this morning, so I kept him home. His nose is quite the leaky faucet, too. He doesn't seem too upset by missing it, though. Today is also Read Across America day and in honor of that, Ryan's teacher sent home a paper a couple weeks ago inviting parents to come in and read a book to the class sometime this month. I'm scheduled to go in Thursday afternoon (hopefully Ryan is feeling better by then) and I think I'm going to read the book llama llama mad at mama that Ryan just got from his book order last week. It's a really cute book. He also got llama llama red pajama, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (his request), and a few other ones. By the way, how sad is it that I'm nervous about reading to a class of kindergarteners?? LOL. The school is also having a Family Reading Night on March 17th that I plan on taking him to. Brooke will probably stay with my parents because I don't think she's quite ready for that yet and I don't want to be chasing her all over the place or listening to her scream in the stroller ;-).

The sickies have paid a visit to Brooke, too. She woke up sneezing and with a runny nose and was running a slight fever of 99.1 (under her arm). She is still eating and drinking great, she's just a bit more crabby than usual. Just hoping it doesn't turn in to an ear infection or anything like that.

Speaking of reading, I've been told that Ryan is one of the best readers, if not THE best reader, in his class :-). His preschool class last year was very focused on reading and I know that helped a lot, plus he just seems to be a little sponge. He also enjoys reading and I really hope he stays that way! I LOVE to read and I'm so happy that he's following in my footsteps so far :-).

Snow Day

2010-02-26T20:24:00.012-05:00

This morning we woke up to this (again):

Needless to say, school was cancelled (Ryan was mad, but luckily didn't freak out). I decided to try to do something fun and different with the kids, so I made a tent in the living room using blankets. My sister, brother, and I used to love doing this when we were kids and we made some massive ones. I was hoping Ryan and Brooke would like it as much. They did enjoy it, but more when I was in there with them. It occupied them for a good hour before Tornado Brooke took part of it down and by then it was almost time for lunch, so that was the end of it for today. We'll have to try it again sometime! Now for some pictures....

I used the recliner, a kitchen chair, the pack'n'play, and couch to prop the blankets up.

(Those are Cheerios for Brooke on the table in case you're wondering ;-).)

View from the "front door".

Brooke was not impressed with the height of the "ceiling" and kept pushing it up. LOL.

Such a smiley girl!

Proof they do get along *sometimes!

Ryan coming in the "back door".

Peeking in from the "porch"

:-)

Full Moon

2010-02-25T14:51:00.005-05:00

Last month right before the full moon, Ryan was being quite trying while his TSS, Miss Arlene, was here. That is unusual behavior for him when she is around. He normally doesn't push his limits too much. But he was being very argumentative and defiant and even ended up in timeout twice while she was here (and once more right after she left). She told me there was a full moon coming up soon, but she wasn't quite sure when (turns out it was the following night), and that it could have something to do with it. He'd been difficult (more so than usual) the few days leading up then, too. We figured we would make sure to pay attention to when another full moon would happen and see if we noticed any correlation.

The next one is Sunday and sure enough, Ryan has been quite a little terror the last couple of days and I don't suspect it will subside until after Sunday. Hopefully I can keep my sanity that long :-P. Things I've noticed that are worse with him are his wanting to argue over EVERYTHING, being extremely defiant and mouthy, and being more aggressive. Yesterday evening when I had to put him in time out in his room, he was trying to hit me and kick me, which is NOT usual behavior for him. He is more apt to hit himself or the wall or something of that nature. It is reassuring to know that there is something causing Ryan to behave this way (and I really do believe that whether it's scientifically proven or not), but it can still be hard to deal with these behaviors, especially without getting frustrated even though I know that definitely does not help the situation. I am hoping for a better evening tonight than the last two, but I'm not counting on it. I am wishing that full moons happened a lot less!

Wordless Wednesday - The Basket

2010-02-24T07:26:00.006-05:00

August 30, 2009

One of my favorite baby pictures of Brooke.

February 17, 2010

This time she got in herself ;-).

Splash Lagoon

2010-02-23T22:41:00.018-05:00

As usual, I am behind in posting :-P. Joe and I took all 3 kids to Splash Lagoon, an indoor waterpark, at the beginning of the month. We left Thursday around lunchtime and got checked in to the hotel, which was connected to the waterpark (SO nice), a little after 3. We got changed in to our suits and headed over to the park. Ryan is not a big fan of water, other than the bathtub, so I was expecting some resistance from him even getting in to the kiddie pool. But it didn't happen! :-) He got right in. Brooke was more cautious and didn't want me to let go of her at first. They had a few slides and surprisingly Ryan went right up the steps and down the slide without much of a second thought, as long as I was there to "catch" him at the bottom (in 18in. of water). Cole is a little fish and he didn't need any time to adjust at all. After a little while at the park, we headed back to the hotel to get ready to order dinner (pizza). Our room had a jacuzzi tub and the kids had a blast playing in it while waiting for the pizza to get there.

Friday morning we had some breakfast and then headed over to the park around 10. I indulged Ryan a couple times by "catching" him at the bottom of the slide and then I had him do it himself. He had no problem (usually) standing up at the bottom. Once in awhile he would lose his balance, but he did really well with not freaking out about it :-). He doesn't like his face getting wet, so we'll have to work on that. Brooke was pretty much velcroed to me unless we hung out at the entry to the kiddie pool where they had some tiny fountains that she loved playing in. Cole was busy checking out the whole park (with Joe, of course) and he loved the family whirlpool and hot tub. Ryan, Brooke, and I got in them for a bit too and Ryan did well in the 3ft water, which surprised me a little, but he preferred the slides in the kiddie pool.

Ryan thinks he is smiling...um, no.

An attempt to get a shot of the 2 of them together :-P.

Attempt 2...it wasn't happening.

Yep, she's too big for these. Nope, she didn't care (SHE wanted in lol). But she sure did get mad when she tried to walk over to the baby in the one next to her and couldn't. LOL.

We had lunch at the snackbar in the waterpark and then headed back to the water for awhile before heading upstairs to check out the arcade. This was definitely Ryan's favorite part. LOL. It did result in a few minor meltdowns from him, but after talking to him I did manage to get him to NOT throw a tantrum when it came time to leave the arcade. We headed back to the room around 4:30 and by that time Brooke was pretty crabby having not had a nap that day OR the day before. She was definitely done with the park. We hung out for awhile and then ordered dinner, this time Applebee's who delivered to the hotel which made it really nice. The kids once again played in the tub while waiting for dinner. It was a nice way to keep them occupied.

I had to throw this one in just so you could see how curly Brooke's hair got ;-).

She is SUCH. A. HAM.!

Ryan pushed the button to turn the jets on, even though none of them liked the jets and this is what happened. Ryan started crying and Cole then wanted to get out. Brooke was kind of just doing her own thing, like she usually is.

Being a stinker while eating dinner.

Can you tell she was tired?? LOL.

We left the hotel around 10 Saturday morning after eating breakfast and headed to Joe's. Cole turned 4 on Saturday and he had a small party that evening. The kids all had a lot of fun. We slept there that night and headed home Sunday evening. It was a great 4 days :-).

Glow Golf

2010-01-24T13:20:00.006-05:00

I really needed to get out of the house yesterday and was trying to think of something fun to go here. With it being winter and the area we live in, the options are very limited. I was going to attempt taking both kids to see The Princess and the Frog at the discount theater, but Ryan didn't want to see it at all, even though he was laughing while watching the trailer on YouTube. So I nixed that idea. I did not feel like trying to take both of them to Chuck E. Cheese alone, even though Ryan has been bugging to go (and we were just there a couple weeks ago). So I decided we would go to the mall and Ryan could try out the new Glow Golf minuature golf course they put in recently. I figured Brooke would be happy to watch from the stroller and she was. Personally, I think the prices are high ($7/adults, $5/kids ages 5-17, $3 kids ages 4 and under), but I knew Ryan would love it. And it turns out that for some reason yesterday if you paid for one game, you got to play 3 and they didn't have to be in a row. So Ryan played through once and then we went to the food court and got some Wendy's for lunch and then went back and played again. I wasn't that impressed with the course, but Ryan had fun. He was extremely well behaved the whole time we were out, which was a very pleasant surprise :-). Brooke is usually good, especially if there's food involved ;-). I didn't think to take my regular camera, but I did snap a few pictures with my cell.

Brooke had white tights on and her legs were glowing so bright. LOL.

This is probably hard to make out, but every time Brooke saw me taking a picture, she would look up and say "Cheeeeese" and smile. LOL.

Wordless Wednesday - Little Miss Monkey

2010-01-20T09:13:00.003-05:00

(Crappy quality cell phone pic.)

Ryan's first team sport

2010-01-19T23:46:00.002-05:00

This past Saturday I signed Ryan up for a bumper bowling league that is every Saturday from now until mid-April. Bet you weren't expecting bowling to be the sport ;-). He LOVES bowling and is finally mature enough and patient enough to take turns and wait for his turn, so I thought this would be a good start. Maybe someday we'll try soccer or something (he's really uncoordinated, so this makes me a bit nervous lol.) All I heard from the time he got up Saturday morning until we left was, "Is it 9:30 yet? Is it time to go bowling yet?" LOL.

Let me back up a little bit for a minute. Back in September we took Ryan for an evaluation to try to get him some more services for his PDD diagnosis that he received at the end of July, like a TSS for home and/or school. The first agency we went through really dropped the ball and we ended up switching to a different one at the beginning of last month. We got the approval for home and community right away, but the insurance wasn't wanting to approve it for school. We were going to try to appeal it, but the school has changed their mind and no longer feels Ryan needs one since he is doing SO much better since the start of the school year :-). His TSS is Miss Arlene and she spends 5 hours a week with Ryan (and me). Her typical schedule is Tuesday and Thursday from 3:45 to 5:15 and Saturday 9:00 to 11:00. When I told her I wanted to sign Ryan up for this Saturday mornings, she said if I wanted her to, she could just go along and I told her that was fine with me. I thought it would be a help if Ryan had one of his meltdowns or couldn't handle the stimulation with all the kids and noise because sometimes that can be a problem.

So Saturday morning she got here at 9:00 and we left here at 9:30 to make sure we had time to sign him up and all that before it started at 10:00. Before we left, we talked to him a lot about being polite and waiting his turn and not throwing a fit when it was time to leave. We ended up with about 15 minutes to spare after signing him up while we were waiting for it to start and he did really well with the waiting (NOT one of his strong points). He is used to bowling with those ramps and they don't use those for this, so it was a bit of a learning curve for him to figure out how to get the ball down the lane with some speed behind it lol. But he got it :-). He had a lot of fun and was cheering on the other kids...so cute :-). All was well until he was going up to take his turn on the 9th frame of the 2nd/last game. Miss Arlene and I were talking and the next thing we knew, Ryan was flat on his face and his ball rolling across the floor :-(.

Ryan doesn't even handle someone bumping into him well, let alone falling down on the floor in front of a bunch of people. He was extremely upset and even let me pick him when usually he doesn't want anything to do with anyone in a situation like that. He was screaming and crying and SO mad. He wouldn't take his turn and someone else took it for him, but he did calm down enough to take his last turn, although it just escalated again when he realized it was then time to leave. I had to struggle with him to get his shoes on and then there was NO way he was cooperating to get his coat on. Miss Arlene just scooped him and carried him right out to the van. Luckily it wasn't freezing cold out anymore, but really it wouldn't have mattered anyway because there was no way he was going to calm down while we were inside, so no way he would have gotten his coat on. Once he gets to a certain point, there's no way for him to calm down unless he's removed from the situation. She got him out to the van and somehow buckled in to his booster seat and he finally calmed down. We left there and headed to my in-laws' house where Brooke had spent the night. It was there that I realized he had hurt his right thumb and I almost took him to the ER. It was red and swollen and really bothering him, but he got extremely upset at the idea of going to the hospital. So I let him go for a bit and kept asking him to move it and wiggle it and I pushed all over his hand and the only part that was bothering him was his actual thumb. The more time went by, the easier he could move it without yelling in pain and within an hour he was able to play the Wii so I knew it couldn't be *that bad ;-). LOL. It has gotten better every day since then, but I can't believe we almost had to make an ER trip after his first week! Hopefully no more injuries ;-).

So let's see...

2010-01-08T22:04:00.002-05:00

I thought I would try updating on a couple things that I initially wasn't sure I would share. I probably still won't go in to a lot of detail, but here is some of what I haven't really posted about in the last few months.

The kids and I moved out Saturday, September 5th. By the following weekend, their dad was no longer living in the house (which is right next door to his mom and dad's house), either. He ended up moving in with someone in a neighboring town. He then went almost 8 weeks without even calling, texting, or emailing me to ask about the kids, let alone see them. Finally he asked his mom to check with me about seeing them over at their house on Friday, November 6th, so they visited for a few hours. The following evening was my sister's wedding reception and his mom had offered to babysit the kids, so they went there again and I found out he was staying there temporarily. On Sunday, the kids and I all went over to visit. A few days later, he went back to where he'd been staying. He has seen the kids a few more times since then, including Thanksgiving and Christmas, but only that first visit was initiated by him. I receive no texts, phone calls, or emails from him asking about them or anything of that nature. Ryan rarely asks about him and Brooke is too little. Ryan did start to seem be really affected by not seeing him around the end of October and was starting to act out in school (a first for him) and more at home. I can't be sure that was the cause, but it seemed pretty coincidental. He's doing much better now and I am hoping that somehow won't change if there's another extended period without a visit. Anyway, now I am wondering how long it will be until their dad asks to see them again. Right now it's been since Christmas, so 2 weeks today...and counting...without even a text to ask about them....

On a happier note....I am still seeing the guy I mentioned in this post and things are going really, really well :-). His name is Joe and he is a divorced dad of an adorable little boy named Cole who is going to be 4 next month. He is very involved in Cole's life and has him at least half the time and I love that about him. He is an amazing father and he is so great with Ryan and Brooke, as well. We waited a bit before bringing the kids in to the mix to make sure this was something that was going to be long term. We were actually ALL together on New Year's Eve for the first time and it went really well and we had a lot of fun. I think we are all looking forward to more of that :-). Tomorrow Joe is coming out (it's his weekend without Cole) and we're going take Ryan and Brooke bowling or something. It was actually his idea for all of us to go do something rather than just he and I go out while my parents babysat. I think that's pretty awesome ;-).

And with that, I think I've shared enough for tonight :-P. LOL. Goodnight!

Seriously

2010-01-05T12:58:00.002-05:00

It can stop snowing any time now! It seems like it's been nonstop for about 2 weeks now. Yes, I know I live in the northeast and yes, I know it snows here in the winter. But last winter was more cold than snow and I guess I got really spoiled. Now we're getting hit with both at once....snow and snow and more snow, plus temps only in the twenties or teens or below. We have all this out there now, freezing temps the rest of the week, and a possible nor'easter on Friday that could bring a foot or more! To be quite frank, it sucks....and yes, this is me complaining about it. Maybe then I'll feel better :-P. Shoveling is getting old. Even though it hasn't been difficult, it's just annoying and it seems like a neverending job lately. This morning I went out and shoveled the sidewalk and half of the driveway before Ryan went to school at 8 and by 10:00 when I went out to do the rest of the sidewalk, I had to redo what I had already shoveled. My back is bothering me a bit today from shoveling all the nasty crap at the end of the driveway from the plow trucks. That driveway where my van (which my brother-in-law has named the Space Shuttle lol) can fit about 5-6 cars, to give you an idea of how big it is. While I obviously only have one vehicle and usually only have one extra car here if someone comes to visit, I still feel like I need to keep the whole thing clear just so it's kept up with. My upstairs neighbors moved out over the weekend, so I'm the only one here right now, though they didn't do much shoveling anyway. My dad has been over to help quite a few times and I really appreciate that! But feel bad at the same time. There was a time when I loved getting snow like this because it usually meant a delay, early dismissal, or school cancelation. But now I am an adult and have to deal with shoveling, driving in it, and dragging two kids around in it. Not so fun or exciting anymore! :-P

Not good at this anymore

2010-01-04T19:40:00.002-05:00

Blogging was a lot easier when I had pregnancy updates to post and then NICU updates and I guess before my life really got turned upside down. Now it seems hard to blog about things without including personal things that I don't really feel comfortable putting out there. But at the same time I really don't want to stop blogging. It's such a fine line and I'm having trouble defining what is too much and what is ok to post. So that's why posts have been few and far between. I'd like to change that, but I'm not sure if I can! Does anyone else have this problem??

Better late than never

2009-12-30T22:55:00.007-05:00

Milk and cookies for Santa

The loot

Neither one of them would look at me lol

All day she just wanted what he had lol.

Ryan got her this stuffed dog when he got to shop in school for people :-).

First present!

Again, trying to take what he had.

Getting another present :-).

She was not as in to opening things as I thought she would be.

A beloved DS game lol.

This puppy is sooo cute. It started singing "If You're Happy & You Know It" and she started clapping :-).

A Cars stunt set.

He loves both these games and I love that I had them when I was a kid :-)

A music player...she loves music.

He loved throwing the paper lol.

She loves babies.

Not sure what this was about lol. But she didn't have near as many meltdowns as last year.

Her first dress up set...she LOVES to dress up :-).

A t-rex...the one thing he really wanted for Christmas. And I don't think he's touched it since Christmas morning :-P.

He's so cute :-)

Wordless Wednesday - First Lollipop

2009-12-16T13:17:00.004-05:00

It's a small world

2009-12-14T11:07:00.003-05:00

Ryan was invited to a birthday party for a little boy in his class that was at Chuck E. Cheese yesterday afternoon. We almost didn't go because Ryan was not behaving the greatest before the party, but I felt bad not going since we had RSVP'd. So we did go. Ryan surprised me by being VERY well behaved there :-). It was really great to see him playing with and talking to kids in his class and to see them yell his name and run over to him when we got there :*). The only girl to come arrived late and it is one of Ryan's closest friends in his class...Maggie. Her mom, Lori, introduced herself to me and I realized that she was the midwife that was with my OB's practice at the time I was pregnant with Zachary and she was there the day I went in to labor and had him. I really liked when I saw her for appointments and I was SO happy she was there that day. I told her right away who I was and she remembered every little detail about that day. She then really floored me by telling me that she was in the hospital with Maggie like 2 rooms away when I was in with Ryan! Maggie was born the morning of the 19th and Ryan was born in the afternoon on the 20th. She had overheard the nurses talking about me and questioned them on what was going on, although they weren't really supposed to say anything, she did know that I was going way too early again. She told me that she had her rosary there and she prayed for us :*). And now 6 years later, our kids our in the same kindergarten class and best buds. They ran off together hand in hand to play games...it was so cute :-). We're hoping to get them together for a playdate over Christmas break. I forgot my camera, but I did snap a pic of the two of them with my phone while they were eating pizza.

Wordless Wednesday - Brooke-proofed tree

2009-12-09T20:04:00.002-05:00

Someone won't keep her fingers off the ornaments, so I undecorated the bottom :-P.

Christmas card picture attempt

2009-12-07T19:42:00.014-05:00

Yesterday I finally decided to dress the kids up and attempt to get at least a halfway decent picture for our Christmas cards. It was NOT fun....but it was kind of funny :-P. Between an uncooperative subject (the short one ~ although I do give her props for listening to me and NOT touching the bow in her hair, which is a small miracle in itself) and my sucky picture taking abilities...I didn't come up with much, but I did manage to get a few that were card worthy and I can't wait until the cards come in that I ordered today :-). I'll share the finished product if I can get someone to scan it for me!

Here are some of the shots I got...the good, the bad, and the funny...

This one cracks me up. Holy flash, though :-/.

Had to make sure her shoes were still there, I guess?

When did he get so grown up looking??

Mad because I told her not to touch the tree.

I told her to go sit by Ryan and this is what she did lol. Camera hog.

Very ladylike.

These pictures don't do her dress justice...it's gorgeous! It was a thrift store find!!

Another with mucho flash.

Awww

They really do love each other ;-)

I really like this one, but again...the flash >:-(

DING DING DING! We have a winner!

Not so sure this year

2009-12-03T20:17:00.004-05:00

Last year, Brooke liked Santa....SEE? This year, not so much.

(This is a picture of a picture because I don't have a scanner, so I apologize for the poor quality.)

Can you tell she couldn't wait to get away?? LOL. Every time she would look at him, she would start to cry. This is the 5th (and last) one they snapped and right after, she totally freaked out and scooted down off his lap. I scooped her up and held her while he talked to her and she just stared at him. I wonder if she'll have nightmares tonight :-X. As you can see, Ryan did great :-).

Wordless Wednesday - Drama Queen

2009-12-02T09:23:00.003-05:00

Edited on www.picnik.com :-)

Christmas tree and a "haircut"

2009-11-30T20:58:00.007-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I put the Christmas tree up. Brooke didn't pay any attention to it until I plugged it in and then she ran over and said, "What's that?" (comes out more like "Whussat?" lol). Ryan and I decorated it after she went to bed. It was absolutely priceless this morning when she realized there were things now HANGING on the tree. LOL. She got all excited and started pointing at everything and saying "bear" (there was *a bear...but everything was a bear to her lol). Then she was bouncing up and down and squealing. And of course then started trying to rip all the ornaments off. Ugh. She then went in the pack-n-play while I finished up getting ready to go to my mom and dad's. We were there all day until bedtime, so I'm not yet sure how stubborn she's going to be with it lol.

Crooked picture, but he is very impatient when it comes to taking pics so this was all I got.

I made my mom's day today when I let her cut off a lock of Brooke's hair that was always hanging in her face if I didn't have her hair pulled up into a ponytail. She's been complaining about it for at least a month lol. It was starting to drive me insane, too. I had planned on growing her bangs out and I still might, but this was definitely supposed to be a part of her bangs and for some reason was about 2 inches longer than the rest lol. If I would leave her hair down, I was constantly brushing the front of her hair to the side. More often than not lately, I was pulling it up to avoid her looking like a ragamuffin. It is SO much nicer looking now and she will be able to wear her hair down and have it look decent :-). Here's a couple before and after pics.

Not looking too bad brushed to the side, but it never stayed looking nice. Love the pouty face :-P.

Eating breakfast lol.

Blurry, but the best "after" pic I have so far!

Just because...

2009-11-26T20:52:00.006-05:00

...I think they looked so cute, here are some pictures I took of the kids before we left for dinner at my in-laws' today :-).

We had a really good Thanksgiving today :-). It was so nice spending time with family. I love the holidays! We'll be celebrating Thanksgiving again on Saturday with my family :-). Can't wait!

Giving thanks

2009-11-26T10:24:00.004-05:00

So much has changed in the last year, including the kids!

To be totally honest, last year on Thanksgiving it felt like my whole world was falling apart and I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. A week after Thanksgiving, the kids and I moved in to my parents' house. I couldn't believe that our first Christmas as a family of 4 was going to be spent as a fractured family and I wasn't really looking forward to it at all. We did end up pulling it together and celebrating together with the kids as a family and we even ended up moving back in right after the New Year. But really all we did was put a tiny bandaid on a great big gaping wound in our marriage. Things weren't really better, but I tried to convince myself they were. They seemed better for a couple months, but then fell apart again even worse than before. By the end of July I knew it was time to move on and I had to find the strength in myself to do what was best for me AND the kids. I made myself believe for a long time that staying was better for the kids, at least until they were a little older, but it started becoming more apparent that that wasn't the best thing at all.

It has now been almost 3 months since the kids and I moved in to our own place. I'm not saying it has been easy (although it has not been as hard as I thought it would be), but I know in my heart that it was the right decision and that everything WILL be okay in the long run. I am thankful that I found it in me to take that step forward. I am extremely thankful that I have a wonderful family (including in-laws) and friends that have helped me through this somewhat scary transition. I am thankful that the kids have not seemed to suffer any emotional trauma due to the separation of their parents even though there are some bumps to smooth over when it comes to that. I am thankful that we are all healthy, have a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. I am thankful to have found an amazing guy that I am crazy about. I am so thankful that I am able to sit here today, even with all that has transpired, and see the positives in my life and not dwell on the negatives! I am truly blessed!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Parent teacher conference

2009-11-24T20:43:00.002-05:00

Tonight was the night! I was a little nervous even though it seems Ryan has been doing a lot better the last couple of weeks. It turns out I was nervous for nothing :-). I got to talk to the Autism support teacher as well as his regular teacher. As far as the acting out/up he was doing (my biggest concern), a sticker chart for breakfast, lunch, special class, and therapy has been helping a lot. If he does well, he gets a smiley face sticker and if he is defiant or throws a tantrum or is uncooperative, he gets a sad face drawn in instead. He loves to work for those smiley stickers (much like when he was potty training lol) :-). That has been working well for the last 2 weeks, so hopefully it continues.

Academically he is doing great :-). His teacher told me she is going to start putting challenge words in his folder for him to practice since he can read so well and knows all of the sight words they are learning already. All the words they were tested on for their report card (which they get December 7th), he knew :-). His handwriting has improved a great deal just since the beginning of the year :-). He is writing darker, neater, and staying in the lines better.

I was very, very, VERY happy to hear that he is starting to initiate conversation and play with his classmates more and more :-). It used to be he would just stand on the sidelines or do parallel play or ask an adult to play with him. Now they said he will start talking to a classmate in the lunch line or while sitting and eating lunch and approach other kids to play during recess. There are also a few kids in his class that help him when needed and love to do so. His teacher was sure to tell me that they aren't babying him or jumping in when not needed and they are trying to get Ryan to ASK when he needs help and the other kids to wait for him to ask instead of just helping him when they notice he needs it. Last year at his preschool graduation, after the little ceremony the kids were able to play and none of the kids played with him or even acknowledged him, except one little boy told him bye when we were leaving. It was heartbreaking :*(. It sounds like things are very different this year and I am SO happy :*). I could tell that even just being in his classroom for a few minutes to help him get in his costume the day of the Halloween parade.

Ryan's biggest issues are changes in routine (apparently his name being called over the intercom today because he won a prize from the health fair yesterday sent him over the edge briefly) and needing help with physical things, like lunch or cutting things out, etc. His teacher is really hoping for a TSS to help with those things and also so if he gets done with something early, they can work on other areas that he needs help in, like fine motor skills. Hopefully the TSS services can/will start soon. Overall they are both very pleased with how he is doing :-). I am SO proud of my little guy!

As promised

2009-11-20T11:10:00.020-05:00

Here are some of my favorite pics from the last couple of months :-).

Ryan with his first kindergarten homework assigment. He had to make a picture of his favorite things lol.

She fell asleep in her high chair waiting for Daddy to pick her and Ryan up.

I got her out of the bath tub and was helping Ryan and came back to this. I LOVE the look on her face. She KNEW she was naughty lol.

Feeling under the weather...he fell asleep playing his DS.

They both sleep this way quite often!

Pouting because she was told to SIT down on the chair lol.

Getting ready to go trick-or-treating! He was a Steelers football player.

Ryan wore this costume a few years ago :-). I got a Halloween bow to clip to the top to make it a a little girly for Brooke ;-).

On Grandma's porch. I have pictures like this of Ryan when he was younger.

Me and the kiddos.

Her disgusted look lol.

Silly boy lol.

She can now undress herself :-P.

"Here are my pants, Mom!"

She loves her some food!

Too many early mornings caught up with him! LOL.

It won't be long now before she's up AND over....AHHHH! LOL.

I'm still alive!

2009-11-19T21:35:00.001-05:00

Wow, has it really been over two MONTHS since I last updated?? I'm not sure what happened there. Now that we are all settled in to the new place and kind of finding a new normal, I thought I would try and start this blog back up. I will probably not be going in to a whole lot of detail about certain things going on around here because I just think a lot of it is too personal to put out there, but I'll see what I can do ;-). In a nutshell here is what has happened in the last 2 months and how we've all been doing (I suck at summarizing, so bear with me):

Things have not gone as smoothly as I would have hoped/thought as far as the kids seeing their dad goes. I'm hoping that will change. Soon. But we'll see. He went 7 weeks without seeing them. Now tomorrow it will be another 2 weeks since he finally did see them, although he might be taking Ryan bowling Saturday. He's supposed to let me know tomorrow.

Ryan had an evaluation for behavioral services on September 16th. He was approved for a BSC (behavioral services coordinator) and they are working on getting him a TSS (therapeutic support staff) for him for school and home/community. Eventually (hopefully SOON) he will be starting an after school program for kids on the autism spectrum where they work on things like socializing, sensory issues, etc. It's one afternoon a week. I think he'll like it!

He also had an appointment with rehab medicine at Children's for an evaluation. He was evaluated by an occupational therapist, speech therapist, and physical therapist. Overall they were EXTREMELY pleased with how well he is doing, considering his history and being a 23 weeker. The only suggestion they had on top of the therapies he's already receiving in school is that he go to outpatient OT once a week, so we've already started that with him.

School is going pretty well. Academically, as far as I know, he's doing really well (his conference is Tuesday, so I'll know more then). He had a few rough weeks there last month and was acting out a bit, which was a first for school. In 3 years of preschool he had NEVER been the least bit uncooperative. But there have been a lot of changes since the beginning of the school year AND this is his first year in school full time. The last couple of weeks have been much better, so I'm hoping that continues :-). Again, I'll know more details next Tuesday. I know the school is really wanting a TSS for him to help with transitions and socializing and coping mechanisms and things like that. Hopefully he gets approved for one. Right now the autism support teacher has been spending the bulk of each day with him, from breakfast up until at least lunch (he definitely needs help in the cafeteria), but that can't really continue.

On to Brooke...oh my, that girl is giving me a run for my money :-P. Really she is not any different than a typical almost 20 month old, but Ryan was NOT a typical baby/toddler (even now he is not a typical 6 year old) so this is allllll new to me! She is talking up a storm and it's so cute. Her favorite word right now is "yes", but she sort of drops the "y" and she always almost whispers it and she draws out the "s". It's so cute. Her new thing is stripping. She doesn't like to wear clothes and will try to take them off. She either gets mad because she can't get something off or she'll get mad because she can't put it back on. She LOVES books and will sit for a half an hour or more looking through them and jabbering away. She loves dolls and dresses and her favorite "food" is ketchup ;-). She loves to bat her eyelashes at you and say "hi" when you're scolding her :-P. There for awhile the stinker would stand on things she wasn't supposed to, like the furniture while saying, "Sit. Sit. Sit." LOL. She is a sassy, stubborn, spunky little thing!

As for me, I'm doing well :-). Things were going really smoothly right after moving in here and I was just waiting for reality to set in and it did and I had a bit of a rough time there for a little while...ok, it was more than a "bit" rough. But I got through it and I'm hoping that is all in the past for the most part. Just gotta keep on truckin' ;-). I am actually seeing someone...a really great guy. I never thought I would date so soon, but we were friends first and well...it just felt right. "Soon" is a relative term anyway. I may have just moved out a little more than 2 months ago, but to be completely honest the marriage was over L-O-N-G before that.

Well, I think that's enough for now. Hopefully I can get back in to the swing of this blogging thing! I'll post some pictures soon!

Just a quickie!

2009-09-09T13:28:00.002-04:00

The kids and I are all moved in to the apartment, but I don't have the internet there yet. I'm at my mom and dad's right now and thought I would just pop in and let anyone still reading know that we are all fine :-). Maybe next time I'll have some apartment pics to share! I say apartment...it is actually the first floor of a house (there's a 2nd apartment upstairs). It's pretty roomy :-). The kids seem to be adjusting just fine so far. Things between Doug and I are good so far. He helped us move and get settled and was even nice enough to bring over some things I'd forgotten not once, but twice. Monday when he stopped over to bring some things, he took me to the store to get a couple things I needed and then we went to his brother and sister-in-law's house for a little Labor Day cookout...so that was nice :-). I just want things to stay amicable at least for the kids and so far, so good! Brooke is starting to fuss, so I better go....Tootles!

Ryan's first week of school and some other news

2009-08-30T07:35:00.002-04:00

So as I posted, Ryan's first day of school was Wednesday. The autism support teacher was with him Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. She had given me her cell phone number so I could call her to see how his first day was going, so of course I did! I talked to her about 1:30 on Wednesday and she told me Ryan was having a great day and she was really impressed with how he was listening to the teacher and following directions and doing what he was supposed to do :-). Her biggest concerns were him speaking loud enough to be heard in the classroom from a distance without someone next to him to relay what he said, and the cafeteria. She helped him get his lunch and take his tray to the table. He chose a bologna and cheese sandwich (instead of the entree, a cheeseburger) and he told her he wanted the crust OFF, lol. Then he wanted the whipped cream off the top of his chocolate pudding, lol. So she said, as a MOM, she would be concerned that he may not have eaten if she hadn't been there. But overall, he had an AWESOME day :-). I received a note from her Thursday reiterating what a great first two days he had and that he was trying very hard to "stay in the green"....they are either in green, yellow, or red depending on how they are listening and behaving and if they get to red, they may lose recess or something else. He's never had a problem behaving in school, so hopefully this year is no different ;-). Ryan seems to really enjoy school and says his teacher is nice :-). Hopefully he has a fantastic year!

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In other news....

If you've been reading awhile (or know me "in real life" or somewhere else other than this blog), then you know that the kids and I moved out back in the beginning of December and in with my parents for about a month. I do not want to go in to details on this blog, but Doug and I were having problems. By the time the new year rolled around, we moved back in because he said the things he did were in the past and he didn't want to lose his family. That lasted less than 6 months. Then things got worse than ever before. By the middle of last month, I decided I had had enough. Last week, Wednesday night, I went to look at an apartment and I have decided to take it. I should have the lease signed and keys in hand by Wednesday! And I'm really, really hoping to be all moved in by the weekend because I am slowly losing my mind here :-P. I still need to tell Ryan we'll be moving and I plan on it in the next day or so....if I tell him too soon, it is all I will hear about. As long as he has a few days, he should be okay. He did well in December when we moved out...hopefully this time will be the same. Brooke is too young to understand anything about the situation, but hopefully it won't be too upsetting for her. The place we're moving to is only a couple minutes away, so if Doug chooses to, he can see the kids pretty much anytime and I told him that. I really try not to post too much personal information on here as far as what is going on in my life aside from how the kids are doing, but I did want to put it out there that this chapter of my/our life is closing and a new one is opening....praying it's a good one!

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Last night we went to Doug's brother and SIL's house (in case you're wondering, my and the kids' relationship with his family will not change at all throughout this separation and eventual divorce....YAY!). We had roasted hot dogs over the fire and had corn on the cob and then cake and ice cream for Ryan's birthday party. The adults played some pool and Ryan played the Wii (the older kids mostly played outside...Ryan is just a tad too little to keep up with them yet or even really be interested in what they're doing). My SIL also cut Ryan's hair and it looks so cute! I don't have any of the pictures on the computer yet, but I will hopefully get to that later today or tomorrow. Time to go start getting ready for church soon! Hope everyone has an awesome Sunday :-).

My big kindergartener!!

2009-08-26T10:44:00.003-04:00

Ryan's first day of school was/is today! His van driver got here 10 minutes early (at 7:35), but she wanted to make sure it was the right address and all that stuff. I actually know who the driver is and she is super nice, so that's cool :-). I buckled Ryan in and then we were chatting a few minutes. When it was time to leave and Grandma and I told him bye, you could tell he was trying not to cry. I'm really hoping he didn't. Even if he did, I doubt that it lasted very long and he's been in school for 2 hours now and I haven't gotten a phone call yet, so I'm taking that as a good sign ;-).

Yesterday was orientation from 12:30 to 3:00. We all gathered in the cafeteria and they introduced the teachers and their aides (each class gets its own this year since the classes are on the bigger side, 23-25 kids in each) and then they had each class line up and the teachers took them to their classrooms while the parents stayed for a meeting on school policies and things like that. I was really worried about Ryan leaving me without a tantrum, but he didn't even bat an eye! Such a big boy :*). After the meeting, the teachers took the kids to the gym while the parents went to their children's classrooms to meet the teacher and go over the items in their folders (you know, all that fun paperwork). When that was over, I went to the gym to find Ryan, but while I was checking out the sign up sheets for committees, his class snuck past me back to the classroom, so I met up with him again there.

The autism support teacher came in to meet Ryan and get to know him a little. She is SUPER nice. She was the learning support teacher for the middle school while I was in MS/HS and now she's doing autism support. She told me that she has a few other kids in the elementary school, but 2 of them are older and won't need her right away and another is a kindergartener in another class that has a TSS (like an aide, which Ryan *might end up with eventually), so she will be with Ryan most of the day today, tomorrow, and Friday :-). That made me feel a TON better. His regular teacher told me she would like to wait a week or two on an aide for Ryan to see how he does and I'm okay with that. I let her know that he will need to be holding an adult's hand on the steps (which should only be once a week when they go upstairs for computer class) and that he will need extra help in the cafeteria, especially with his tray and she said the classroom aide will be with him in the cafeteria :-). She really eased some of my fears. Everyone at the school is so nice, including the director of education (who I happened to have as a teacher in middle school and I loved him) and principal, and kept stressing that if we have any concerns or questions to give them a call. I really feel like they care about the students and their success and they will help them to have the best year(s) possible while attending there :-).

I'll let you know how today goes!

Ryan's birthday party...and other stuff

2009-08-24T18:40:00.010-04:00

Saturday we had Ryan's birthday party for my side of the family. We had it at my mom and dad's. It turned out to be a great day :-). We had a cookout with burgers, hot dogs, kielbasa, potato salad, macaroni salad, etc....and then cake and ice cream, with a side of presents in between ;-). Here are just a FEW highlights...

The birthday boy wearing TWO birthday stickers ;-).

Mario Kart Wii backpack for school! He saw it at JCPenney a month or so ago and flipped out over it.

Out of all the presents, I think he got most excited over these quarters that my mom taped to a piece of paper and put in the card from her and my dad! (No, that's not all they got him, lol.)

Trying out one of his presents :-)

Okay, I SWEAR this did not look *as lopsided in person, lol. Regardless, I'm very happy with how it turned out, especially considering we (my mom and her BFF helped) were just winging it ;-). Ryan wanted a bowling pin cake, so that's what he got! He loved it and did not want us to cut it! LOL.

I wish this pic hadn't come out so grainy and dark!

Blowing out the candle (he only wanted ONE, lol)!

Brooke LOVED the cake, if you can't tell ;-).

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On to the "other stuff"....

I'm going to TRY to keep this brief. I was just getting in to bed Saturday night at going on midnight and the phone rang. Doug's dad had been in the hospital since early Friday morning due to chest pains (he had a heart attack in Dec. '04 and has a bad heart/arteries). I was worried something had happened with him because we don't generally get phone calls that time of night unless it's bad news. But it was actually about MY dad. It was my mom calling to say she was taking him to the hospital because he was having really bad stomach pains and didn't look good. I got dressed and headed to the hospital. We found out about 2:30 am that he had acute appendicitis. Sometimes shortly after 3, I guess it was, the surgeon came in to see him. He scheduled him for surgery at 9am ("to give people a chance to go to church" ???). Soon after that they moved him to a room and we left the hospital around 5am to go home and shower and try to get awake and came back at 7. We were extremely, extremely nervous about surgery because my dad had never been under anesthesia before, plus he is a smoker and a little overweight. You just never know. But he did fine and the surgeon didn't find anything wrong besides his appendix and he said it was a lot worse than he thought it was. My dad got to come home this morning already :-).

Last year we had Ryan's birthday party on the 23rd and that morning before his party, my dad went out to my pap's (his dad's) house to check on him and found he'd passed away in his sleep. Then that night, Ryan got 7 staples in his head after a plastic deck chair broke that he and a family friend were sitting on. This year, my dad gets his appendix out on the 23rd. Can we skip the 23rd of August next year??? Seriously.

On to Doug's dad....They tried to avoid doing a heart catheterization, but it had to be done today. Luckily, it went fine! They did find some blockages and put in stints (I'm not sure how many). He was no longer having pains in his chest and was only sore in his groin area where they put the catheter in, as of a couple hours ago when I got an update. So at least that seems to be taken care of :-). But on Saturday they saw a couple spots on/in his lung and he also has a couple lumps in his groin, so now they have to figure out what the deal is with that. Praying it is NOTHING!

Tomorrow is Ryan's kindergarten orientation and Wednesday is his first day of school. Eeeeek! The worst part is I'm STILL waiting to hear back from the school on whether or not they are providing him an aide and for how much of the day. I'm like 99% sure he'll have one for at least parts of the day, but from what they said, an all day district supplied aide is probably not possible. He has an appointment set up for September 16th with Northwestern Human Services for an evaluation and if nothing else, I think they can help us out in that area! Wish us luck!

Happy SIXTH Birthday, Ryan Matthew!!

2009-08-20T13:02:00.009-04:00

My once 1lb. 6oz., 12in. tiny baby boy has grown in to a 36lb., 42in. soon-to-be kindergartener!! How did that happen?? I'm still not sure. But I love this little guy more than words can say and I am SO proud and amazed at the obstacles he has overcome :*).

Baby, look how far you've come...

6 days old, with my hand...

1st birthday (you can really tell he had/has bad vision...)

2nd birthday (this was taken in my BIL's garage, hence the lovely background)

3rd birthday

4th birthday (he was sick that day : (...can you tell?)

5th birthday

6th birthday (his party is Saturday)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T13:52:00.006-04:00

My little man will be 6 tomorrow! :::sniff sniff:::

My excitement for the year...

2009-08-14T14:20:00.002-04:00

I woke up around 4:30 this morning to a strange noise. It sounded like something hitting the window. I rolled over and opened my eyes and about peed myself when I realized there was a freaking bat flying around my bedroom!! I immediately pulled the blanket up over my head and started thinking about what the heck I was going to do. I've NEVER seen a bat in my house before...not this one and not when I still lived at home. I thought about yelling for Doug (he sleeps on the couch), but I knew I would wake the kids up and scare them. Then I remembered I had my cell phone upstairs, so I grabbed it and called our landline, lol. I had to call twice before Doug answered (the first time he was probably thinking it was just a crank call). I told him there was a bat flying around "up here" and he asked where I was...um, duh? LOL. I said, "In my bedroom!" He said he'd be up. By the time he got upstairs, it "disappeared". No idea where it went. He said hopefully it left the way it came in. I doubt it.

I laid there for awhile, having to go pee, but afraid to get up. Wanting to go to sleep, but afraid it would come back. LOL. Finally after about 15 minutes, I crept slowly out of bed to go to the bathroom. After getting back in bed, I laid awake for a little longer until I felt "safe" and then went back to sleep. Can I tell you I am absolutely dreading bedtime tonight??? And from now on I am always going to be afraid of a reoccurence. Especially after being told by some online friends to watch out for rabies or other diseases. OMG. :::freaking out:::

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-12T08:43:00.005-04:00

Monday already?

2009-08-10T10:36:00.003-04:00

This weekend seemed to fly by! Friday I got to go out for the afternoon/evening with my sister and her boyfriend. We drove an hour away and went to Red Lobster and then did some shopping (mostly window shopping for me, lol) and played mini golf. It was a lot of fun : ). The kids were with Daddy until about 5:30 and then he dropped them off next door with his mom and went to the Steelers training camp. I picked them up when I got home.

Saturday morning I took Ryan and Brooke to Toys'R'Us to get some ideas for Ryan's birthday since a few people were asking me what to get him. I so cannot believe he will be 6 on the 20th! I did get a few ideas. He's hard to shop for because he doesn't play with a whole lot : /. We had dinner at my in-laws' that night. It was like a holiday...ham, noodles in ham broth, stuffing balls, mashed potatoes, and green beans....YUM!

Yesterday we set up at the flea market to try to get rid of more of our stuff and make more money. We were supposed to set up last Sunday, but it was raining bright and early in the morning when we were supposed to go. Well, I say "we", but Doug and his mom and dad actually went down first thing around 7am to set up. I didn't want to wake the kids up that early (well, Ryan is usually up by that time, but Brooke likes to sleep until 9 some mornings), so I waited until a little later and then dropped the kids off at my mom and dad's and went down to help out. We did pretty good. But I got fried. It's not super bad...like I don't think it will blister or anything...but it's bad for me because I almost always use sunscreen. Yes, that means I usually look like a ghost all summer, but I don't care. LOL. Anyway, I guess I'll have a pretty good tan now. Oh well.

We came home and unloaded the stuff we had left (thinking about going back again next weekend) and Brooke and I got in the pool for awhile. Ryan and Doug didn't want to come in : P. We ate leftovers at my in-laws' (they live right next door, remember?) and then came home, put the kids to bed, and watched Big Brother.

Today I need to wash clothes (diapers are washing right now), clean up the downstairs, and go grocery shopping tonight. Fun stuff, I tell ya ; ).

Mr. Lucky

2009-08-06T07:01:00.004-04:00

Ryan has already narrowly escaped the emergency not once, but TWICE, this week...and it's only Thursday! On Sunday, he was acting crazy and somehow fell and hit the back of his head on our entertainment center...right on the sharp corner. He had an instant goose egg, but luckily no blood! We kept a close eye on him the rest of the day, but he seemed fine.

And then last night I thought FOR SURE, we were headed to the ER. We were outside and sitting on my in-laws' deck. They have like 4 or 5 steps leading up to it. Ryan was coming up them, trying to carry this little punching bag thing and lost his balance. It was like one of those things that you see happening in slow motion, yet you can't get there fast enough. Daddy threw down two things he was holding in his hands and leaped down the stairs, but he was too late to catch him. Poor Ryan started freaking out before he was even done rolling down the stairs : (. He somehow avoided hitting his head and cracking it open on the stairs or the cement below. He did end up with an instant bruise and knot on his forearm from landing on it on the edge of the step, and a small scrape on his back. When I saw him going down, I thought for sure we were going to be heading to the hospital to get more staples or stitches. After a few minutes, we got Ryan calmed down and he held some ice on his arm. He was telling us, "I rolled down the steps, just like I did at Nanny's and Pap's!" LOL. In December, he took a tumble down the inside stairs at my mom and dad's. Luckily they are carpeted, as is the floor at the bottom, because he ~~fell~~ rolled quite a bit further, and he narrowly missed their buffet at the bottom of the stairs.

They say bad things happen in 3's and I hope we're not in for another close call with Ryan (or worse) this week!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-05T07:17:00.007-04:00

She didn't want her cousin, Cameron, to leave...can you tell?

It's About Time

2009-08-04T19:38:00.007-04:00

Brooke has been walking for just over a month now, but just today she learned and mastered how to stand up in the middle of the room without holding on to anything : ). It may sound silly, but I've been anxiously awaiting this milestone because I just think it's adorable to watch babies stand up on their own : ). She's getting so darn big and "grownie"! Here are some pictures I took of her on Friday (I didn't get any from today uploaded yet).

She happens to look JUST like my sister in this one!

A Conspiracy?

2009-08-03T10:21:00.003-04:00

It felt like there was one against me last night, to keep me from going to sleep. I stayed up a little later than usual last night (I'm not a night person) and right before I was about to go to bed at 10:30, Brooke woke up. I brought her downstairs and tried snuggling her back to sleep, but it wasn't working, so I thought she might be hungry and got her a bottle. She drank about 4oz., but was still wide awake. Finally around 11:30, I took her upstairs and laid her in bed beside me while I watched TV. She was laying there sucking her thumb, but not going to sleep. In fact, a few times she even sat up and smiled at me and started waving her blanket around. LOL. How could I be mad at that?! I did start to get a little annoyed, though, not knowing WHY she was wide awake that time of night when she's normally sleeping, so I decided to try laying her in her crib to see what she did, around midnight. I was hesitant to try to go to sleep right away myself because I figured as soon as I did, she would start fussing. Around 12:15, it seemed that she'd fallen asleep so I tried to go to sleep myself. I think everyone has had those times where you're SO tired but sleep won't come. That's what happened to me.

As I finally started to drift off to sleep, my idiot neighbors decided that 12:45 was a good time of night to get their 4-wheelers out and go for a ride, but not before revving them up several times, right outside my bedroom window pretty much. Right after they left, Ryan started having a coughing spell. He's had a cold for a few days and a bit of a cough, which of course is always worse at night. The cough attack wasn't bothering him, but it was bothering me. I went over and offered him a drink, which he refused. I propped his pillow up and tucked him back in. He finally stopped coughing and got in to a good sleep again and I think I finally passed out about 1:30 and I woke up at 7:45. :::::yawn::::: To some people, that may be a good night's sleep, but I'm used to about 2-3 hours more than that : P.

Early to bed for me tonight! Hopefully it's a quiet night!

Yard sale tomorrow

2009-07-31T10:53:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow I'm having my very first yard sale. My mother-in-law and I are doing a joint one. I have so many baby and kids clothes to get rid of and a ton of toys, too, along with some other miscellaneous stuff. I'm REALLY hoping to get rid of most of it! We put an ad in the paper and my very sweet mom made me several signs and my equally sweet dad hung them for me around town last night ; ). So hopefully that will bring the people in! I'm a little nervous just because I don't like dealing with people sometimes, but I think it will be fine. I have special plans for the money, which I may or may not post about soon.

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And because it's been almost a week since I last posted pics, here's a few random ones that were taken a couple weeks ago : ). The third one is Brooke modeling a new diaper cover from Mudshrimps. I LOVE Mudshrimps covers. Brooke has (I think) 7 now and I would like one or two more because she can be a little pooping machine and we go through covers like crazy some days, lol.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! : )

Where are my french fries?!

2009-07-29T10:23:00.003-04:00

I forgot to post about this Monday when I updated about Ryan's eye exam. By the time we left the surgery center, I was starving so we stopped at Sheetz before heading home to grab a little something to eat. Ryan wanted french fries. Once we got the food and got back on the road, I handed the fries back to Ryan. They were on the hot side, so I told him to let them cool down for a few minutes. About 5 minutes later, I looked back to tell him that he could probably eat them now, only to find him sleeping. So I took the fries and put them back in the bag. He slept the whole way home (about an hour) and woke up once we pulled in the driveway and the car shut off. Whenever Daddy went to get him out of the car, the first thing he said was, "Where are my french fries?!" LOL. It was just so funny that he remembered so quickly after waking up!

Eye Exam Today

2009-07-27T11:08:00.002-04:00

Ryan had his follow up eye exam today to check on things after this appointment in May. Today the pressure was down in his right (bad) eye. It was still a bit on the high side, but nowhere near what it was last time. Normal eye pressure is 15 to 21 and the last time his right eye was in the high 30's. This time it was in the mid 20's. The pressure in his left (good) eye was still in normal range, in the upper teens. Whew! He wants to see him back for a regular office visit in 6 months.

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I'm sure most of my readers also read MckMama's blog. For those of you who don't, please, please pray for her baby, Stellan. He has a heart condition and he's not doing well at all : (.

Blueberry Picking

2009-07-25T13:33:00.010-04:00

Nothing says summer like picking yummy blueberries! My mom and dad have a few blueberry bushes and Ryan was having a blast picking them the other day. He even ate some! If you know Ryan, you know the only fruit he eats is bananas (and if you can count applesauce...haha), so I was really surprised! Oh, he even ate a couple grapes the other day, too, so he's getting a little braver, lol.

Here are a few pictures I took of him!

A Diagnosis

2009-07-24T22:01:00.003-04:00

Sorry, but this will be short because I already typed it out once and lost it and I am ready for bed after getting up at 5:30 to leave for this appointment! : )

Ryan's appointment was today and it went well. He was diagnosed with pervasive development disorder (PDD). Autism and Asperger's Syndrome both fall into this category and he has traits of both. In case you don't feel like clicking on the link, here is the definition of PDD: The term "pervasive development disorders" (PDDs) refers to a group of conditions that involve delays in the development of many basic skills, most notably the ability to socialize with others, to communicate and to use imagination. Children with these conditions often are confused in their thinking and generally have problems understanding the world around them. This describes Ryan perfectly. It doesn't describe all his "issues", but it does a lot of them.

Now I will admit I'm a little confused about this PDD term and I didn't get to ask (or even think of) many questions : /. I need to make a list and give her a call. She will also be sending a report out in a couple weeks.

With the PDD diagnosis, it will be easier to get him services in school and hopefully even an aide which we (and the doctor AND his former preschool teacher) think he needs in order to keep up and do well.

I just hope that Ryan is one day able to live a fulfilling, happy, "normal" life and have some real friends. I hope he doesn't turn out to be a social outcast : (. It's tough being a parent and worrying about all the "What if's...?".

ETA: There's no way of knowing if the PDD is due to the extreme prematurity and/or PVL (brain damage, probably due to lack of oxygen and/or brain bleed in the NICU) or if he would have had it even if he was a healthy, full term newborn.

Also, the doctor suggested getting some genetic testing done just to rule anything else out, which I think is a good idea!

Teething sucks

2009-07-23T15:02:00.003-04:00

I never even knew Ryan was teething as far as how he acted, but Brooke is a different story. Actually I guess it could be a whole lot worse, but as of now she hasn't slept well in almost 2 weeks, save for a night here or there. She usually wakes up at least once, but usually 2-3 times, and sometimes I'm up for an hour or more trying to get her back to sleep. It's strange, though, because she isn't fussy or seem like she's in pain when she wakes up. She is just awake and doesn't want to go back to sleep. She has a few teeth getting ready to pop through and another one that already has made it's appearance. I give her tylenol sometimes, but it doesn't alway seem to work. Teething tablets do nothing. Someone told me to try Motrin and nighttime Orajel so I may try one or both. I've never done Orajel because I'd heard that it can numb the baby's throat and make them choke on their drool or something to that effect, but I don't know if it's true or not. Anyone else hear that?

Last night I was up with Brooke from about 2:50 to 4:15am...ugh. I really hope she sleeps better tonight because my mom is keeping her. We have Ryan's appointment at the Child Development Unit tomorrow and we have to leave around 7am, so it will just be easier if we don't have to worry about dropping her off in the morning. I'll have to havel my mom to try the Motrin on her. I'll feel terrible if Brooke has her up and down all night.

Ryan ended up spending 2 nights at my aunt's house. He had a lot of fun and she was planning on bringing him home this afternoon, but I talked to him this morning around 10 and he said he wanted to come home. He hasn't been away from me for that long in over a year (since I was in the hospital with Brooke), so I think he was getting a little homesick. Then after he got home, I thought he really was getting sick because he was just acting off. He started having a meltdown over his Nintendo DS, so I took him and he was sitting on my lap and ended up falling asleep. I laid him on the couch and he slept for almost 2 hours! It is VERY, VERY rare for him to nap so I was hoping he wasn't getting sick. Plus, he'd slept well at my aunt's, putting in about 11 hours a night...but I guess he was just that played out because once he woke up, he was back to his normal self : ).

So tomorrow we'll have a long day...we have a 2 hour drive each way and the appointment is supposed to take up to 3 hours. Then on Monday is his sedated eye exam so that could turn into another long day. I'll update about his appointment tomorrow and exam Monday ASAP!

My brave boy!

2009-07-22T10:32:00.000-04:00

Ryan's follow up sedated eye exam is coming up Monday. Yesterday I had to take him to the pediatrician for his pre-op. physical. He just saw the nurse practitioner and when she came in, she was looking over his chart and asked about his vaccines that he still needs. I knew he needed them and planned on getting them soon, but I didn't think it would be brought up at yesterday's visit. She asked if I just wanted him to get them then and I figured we might as well get it over with. I was nervous and felt bad, though, because I didn't get to give Ryan any warning before the appointment. I told him he was going to be getting 2 shots and it would only hurt for a minute. He kept saying he wanted zero shots : (. I was prepared for a total screamfest like last year when he got his flu shot. The nurse came in to give them and he got on my lap with no problem. He was watching what she was doing and we told him to look at the big plastic jar of little toys that he could pick out of when he was done. She was smart and gave him the less painful one first and he didn't even flinch! He let out a tiny gasp and that was it. The 2nd one was one that burns and she warned me (spelled it out quickly), so I really thought he would cry, but he didn't! He tried so hard to keep from crying and just let out some little gasps. It was so cute (but sad)! I told him how proud I was of him and he was soooo proud of himself : ). We hit the vending machine when we left for some M&M's ; ).

After the appointment, he went to my aunt's house to spend the night. He loves playing with her granddaughters (who her and my uncle adopted), Jade (almost 9) and Hayley (7).

Our Trip

2009-07-19T13:41:00.005-04:00

Here are some pics from our trip!

He is actually a really good golfer!

Brooke and me : )

Me and the kids

Dontcha love the forced smile? LOL.

There was actually a hole on the ship...pretty cool. It was a really nice course!

Playing at Long's Park.

This is Brooke and Bev's grandson, Riddick. He loved kissing Brooke, lol. She, on the other hand, was not so sure about that! My darn camera wouldn't flash, so I didn't get the actual kiss...just this shot...

...and the snub afterwards, lol. She wasn't sure what to think about it!

I officially suck...

2009-07-17T09:58:00.002-04:00

...at keeping up with this blog lately! I don't know what my problem is. We went away last weekend, like I mentioned in this post, to visit my mom's very good friend, Bev, that she's known since before I was born. She's closer than most of my (extended) family ; ). We used to go visit every summer when I was a kid (she lives 3 hours away in Lancaster) and then stopped around the time I graduated H.S. for various reasons. Now this was our 3rd year out 4 (we missed summer '07) going down and I'm so happy we're making it a tradition again : ). We fit a lot in while we were there, including getting to meet up with a couple moms from the cloth diaper message board I post on and their kids (and one of their hubbies). We also went to a huge flea market and we played mini golf and visited a huge outlet center with tons of stores. The kids were really good while we were there and they had fun : ). We were there from Thursday afternoon to Monday afternoon. I was ready to get home to my own bed and shower, but other than that was not ready to leave!

Brooke has 2 new teeth on the bottom starting to poke through. She had a couple rough nights from them and LOTS of drool, but otherwise is handling it like a trooper. She is walking a lot, but not all the time and hasn't figured out how to stand up in the middle of the floor yet. She's still getting a bottle and refusing the sippy cup, but soon I think I'm going to try to be a little firmer with her and not give in when she refuses to drink....and stock up on watermelon to give her because she loves it and so she'll stay hydrated, lol. This child LOVES to eat and sometimes I swear would just keep eating until you stop feeding her, lol. If you're feeding her, she's happy and if you take food from her, LOOK OUT! (Sound familiar, Heather? LOL.)

Ryan is.....Ryan. We've really been struggling with him lately and his behavior. He's VERY defiant and difficult 80% of the time. He rarely eats a meal without fighting about it. He is mean to Brooke out of nowhere. He argues about anything and everything. Then sometimes he can just be so loving and sweet and well-behaved. You never know what you're going to get with him.

No pictures this time. Our desktop 'puter got a virus and is out of commission (maybe permanently). PLEASE pray I can at least get my pics off of there : /. I have a year's worth on there. I've been procrastinating on saving them to a disc...ooooops : (. It's more of a pain to get my pics from my camera on to the laptop and I haven't done it yet, with our trip pictures. I'm way behind on posting pics already. I might get to it someday : P.

Chuck E. Cheese...

2009-07-02T18:43:00.005-04:00

...where a kid can be a kid! We went this morning for a little while...we surprised Ryan and didn't tell him where we were going. He was so excited : ). Here's a BUNCH of pics!

Pointing at a game...she loves to point.

She LOVED the skeeballs.

She even tried to throw one up the lane/alley/whatever you call it, but it didn't go too far : P.

He has to sit on it in order for the ball to make it all the way up, lol. Don't you love his fake smile? : P

I just think she looks so cute and "grown up" in her little jeans ; ).

She only liked this ride when it was NOT moving. LOL. She's going through a phase (I hope that's all it is) where she doesn't like rides or things that move (like swings). When we went to CEC a couple months ago she LOVED this dolphin ride there (and this ride). Not anymore!

Can you see her curls? : ) They aren't always there, but if I wet her hair and fluff it, they "come back"...my hair was the same way when I was her age. I love it : ).

Waiting for his picture that "Chuck E. Cheese drew" to come out!

More skeeball. It's his favorite game there, besides the Dunk'n'Alien game (right next to him on his right)...sort of like skeeball. It was broken most of the time we were there. One of the employees was working on fixing it. We were cashing in our tickets and she came and told us it was working b/c she knew Ryan was wanting to play it. She even gave him a token. I thought that was nice of her : ).

Checking out the front of the skeeball machine.

Nicktoons racing.

She is perfecting the art of tantrum throwing at a young age : P.

Popcorn game.

Thanks for looking! : )

Word-FULL Wednesday

2009-07-01T18:43:00.003-04:00

Sorry, no pics today, just an overdue update!! I've been majorly slacking in the blogging department : /.

Brooke had her one year check up on the 11th. Nothing much to report other than she weighed 17lbs. 11oz (in just a dry diaper). And you know, I *just realized they never gave me her height and weight percentiles! Hmmm, guess I'll have to look them up myself. She got 2 shots that day and I took her back this past Monday for 2 more. Now she is all caught up until 18 months : ). Monday she weighed 18lbs. 8oz. (fully clothed, wearing shorts and a tank top). I can't believe she finally made 18lbs.! It was sad Monday...she remembered getting her shots 2 1/2 weeks ago, so she started screaming bloody murder before the nurse even touched her :*(. She is fine now, though ; ).

Our swimming pool (one of those smallish frame ones) has been up since the middle of May and I was getting super annoyed that it hadn't been hot enough or the water warm enough to swim in it yet. So last Wednesday night we went to Walmart and bought a tiny wading pool for the kids to splash around in. So wouldn't you know it, Thursday it got to be almost 90 out and the pool water was 72, so we finally got to swim! Ryan freaked out at first, but then got used to it once he realized he could easily reach the bottom and walk around in it. Brooke whimpered and whined a couple times, but mostly loved it : ). Pics coming later!

I have some exciting news to share! Brooke is walking now! Not fulltime, but she is walking a little more each day. She starts off walking and then when she falls, she just crawls. It is SO, SO cute to see her toddling around : ). Here, I'll try to post a link to a video of her walking, but I'm not sure if it will work or not! This was taken last week, on my parents' deck (that's them...well, my dad anyway, in the video)...she's walking a lot steadier now : ). I'll have to try to get an updated video up if this one works!

We are taking Ryan on the 24th of this month to the Child Development Unit in Pittsburgh (Children's Hospital) to get him evaluated. There are some behaviors and things that are starting to make me/us wonder if it's maybe not all prematurity related, like maybe Asperger's syndrome and/or autism and/or ADD and/or I don't know. I actually don't have time to get in to it all right now, but hopefully someday soon I'll post more about it. I'll definitely update after the appointment!

Next weekend we will be out of town. We're going to visit a very close family friend, "Aunt" Bev, that my mom has known since before I was born. My parents and sister and her boyfriend are going as well. Bev lives about 3 hours away in Lancaster. We're leaving Thursday afternoon and will be home sometime Monday. It should be fun!

Brooke has hit another small milestone. She now points to everything and babbles. She mostly points to things she knows she's not allowed to have, like the remote. LOL. It's super cute : ).

Well, I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting, but there's at least some of what I wanted to update any readers I still have on ; ). I'm hoping to post some new pics sometime soon!

Don't forget...

2009-06-25T16:40:00.002-04:00

...to go over to Sheila's blog and enter to win EA Sports Active for the Wii if you haven't already! You don't have much longer to do so. Good luck! : )

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-24T13:59:00.006-04:00

Hurricane Brooke at it again. These pics were all taken the same day, except the last one...She sure is a handful (and a half)!

Giveaway!

2009-06-17T13:41:00.005-04:00

My friend Sheila is hosting an awesome giveaway on her blog Runnin' Late, Again! It is a chance to win an awesome Wii game, EA Sports Active, which gives you the opportunity to customize a workout perfect for YOU! I don't know about you, but I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds and just get in shape, so I think this is awesome! Head on over to her blog and check it out! : )

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-17T12:28:00.003-04:00

My living room, courtesy of Hurricane Brooke. She is constantly emptying her toy basket.

Cuteness

2009-06-10T10:41:00.004-04:00

Is she getting big or what?? She's started doing some really cute, new things lately and I just wanted to share. She started waving over a month ago, but now she waves ALL the time. As soon as I get her out of her crib in the morning, she starts smiling and waving. As soon as we step out of the house, she starts smiling and waving. Walking through the parking lot at Walmart...yep, you guessed it. She will wave at anyone and anyTHING. She waves at people she doesn't even know and gives them this "WTH look" if they don't wave back. She has even taken to waving to our ceiling light in the living room. Silly girl! I have to admit, it does freak me out just a tad when she starts waving and smiling at thin air (especially since we've had some freaky things happen in our house before).

We realized on Sunday that Brooke has picked up on how you call a dog (i.e. - smooching your lips and making that kissy noise...lol...can *you think of a better way to describe it??). We were at my cousin's graduation party, which was at their house in their yard and their neighbors have a golden retriever named Jake (very pretty dog). Brooke started going nuts when she saw him (she LOVES animals) and then started making that noise! She does it anytime she sees a dog now. It's super cute. And since then I've taught her how to say "woof woof", which comes out more like "ooffff", when I ask her what a doggie says. I love it : ).

And another thing she now does (and I was trying to get a pic this morning, to no avail) is give her doll kisses when you tell her, too. Complete with the "lip smacking". She seems to really like her baby dolls and I'm so happy about that : ). I hope it lasts for awhile because I (still) love dolls! However, the little turd will NOT give me a kiss when I tell her to "Give Mommy a kiss!" : P.

One more thing...I got SO excited last week on Friday because she took THREE steps before falling down. I thought for sure she would be walking soon, but I've barely been able to get her to take even ONE step since then : P. I stand her up and she just smiles and slowly sits down, lol. Oh well...when she's ready!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-10T10:35:00.003-04:00

First pigtails! She finally leaves her hair fixed (for the most part)...YAY : )

Zachary Logan

2009-06-03T20:39:00.005-04:00

Seven years ago today, our first baby entered the world 16 weeks too soon. He was only here for 11 short days, but he taught me so much in that time, about life and death and God and faith. It may sound strange, but having him and then losing him made me feel closer to God than I ever had. I know that Zachary is up in Heaven with Jesus and that he is safe and will never experience any of the pain or heartache in this world. I would love it if he were still here to hold and watch grow up, but there's nothing I can do to change that, so I choose to be at peace, knowing that God's will was done in his life.

We only visit the cemetary on his birthday. I don't really like going there. I know he's not there and I don't feel like I need to go there to be close to him or remember him. But I do like taking him flowers on his birthday and taking some pictures. It seems like he's had more rainy birthdays than not and today was one of them....so I wasn't able to get as many pics of Ryan and Brooke there as I would have liked. But we did get a few.

Brooke realllly wanted those flowers....

I also have to include one of my most favorite pictures ever...this is Ryan when he was almost 2.

This was another yucky day ~ notice the plastic bag Ryan is sitting on? And also the fact that he's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, in JUNE. Looking back, out of 7 years, I think it's only been nice out for 2 of Zachary's birthdays ~ his first birthday and his 3rd birthday

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-03T12:00:00.003-04:00

Official Preschool Graduate!!

2009-05-29T10:56:00.009-04:00

I say "official" because he had a preschool graduation last year as well, but he went on for a 3rd year of preschool because he was not ready for kindergarten (still not sure he is, but that's another post for another day).

They scheduled the graduation for outside, but it was moved inside due to possible rain. Good thing because it started pouring down rain about halfway through. It was H-O-T in there, though! Doug's mom went with me and we took Brooke...everyone else had to work. But my MIL recorded it so everyone could see it.

They brought the kids out and they were split in to 2 groups, which had each written a story as a group based on a topic they were given. Ryan's group wrote about shoes and their story was called "Joe's Shoes". The teachers (there's 2 ~ one for the "regular" kids and one for the special needs kids) each read one group's story and each child came up and held a picture they'd drawn illustrating that part of the book. It was really cute : ). Then they did the certificate presentation and they made it really cute by saying what they thought each child might be when he or she grows up. They said Ryan would be a pro basketball player because he always wants to play b-ball on the playground with whoever will play. LOL. Let's hope he has a major growth spurt or he may be the shortest basketball player in history ;). After that, it was time to eat. Each family brought a covered dish or dessert. There was a lot of food there! At the very end, the kids had a little bit of time to play. Ryan did not want to leave and started to throw a tantrum, which we were luckily able to head off. We were able to get some pictures of him in his classroom and with his teacher before we left.

Right after the "ceremony".

I love this pic, but wish the coloring and lighting were better...it was very dark in there!

Standing in front of his cubby. His "symbol" is a yellow star.

In his classroom.

I've never seen a climber thing like this before. This pic came out blurry.

Ryan with his teacher, Mrs. Julie. She is so sweet : ).

We made it!

2009-05-27T14:02:00.013-04:00

We got home from NC Monday night around 8:00. Overall the trip went a lot better than I expected : ). We got to the hotel in VA about 7:45pm Thursday evening, stopping 2 times to pee and feed Brooke (once). Ryan was awesome and Brooke only got cranky when it was about time to eat. After we got to the hotel, we had a late dinner. There were some restaurants close to the hotel...Ryan had McDonald's and Doug and I had Taco Bell. The kids went to sleep relatively easy and slept all night, not waking up once! Brooke really surprised me with how well she slept : ).

Ryan wanted to know where the living room and kitchen were in the hotel. LOL. He's only been in a hotel room once before and it was when we went to VA Beach when he was almost 2, so he doesn't remember it!

Getting ready for bed. We took our own pack'n'play along.

We woke up around 7:30 and started getting ready. We pulled out of the hotel at 9:20 and we got to Doug's aunt and uncle's at 2:00, again stopping 2 times. And again, Ryan did awesome and Brooke only fussed when she got hungry.

The mountains in VA were gorgeous and it was a beautiful day, as you can see!

This was at the rest area/welcome center in NC. She loved standing in her carseat, lol.

Friday evening, his aunt and uncle went to the rehearsal and dinner and we left to get something to eat and go to Walmart to get a few things (mostly food stuff) that we didn't feel like packing to bring along. We ate at Golden Corral, which we don't have around here and we really liked it. Doug's parents and brother and his family got in about 8:30 that night. Ryan had a MAJOR meltdown that night when we tried to get him to lay on the couch and watch TV to go to sleep. Nothing would calm him down. He kept screaming that he was going home and he wanted to leave. We chalked it up to all the time in the car and being in a new place. Finally, when he stopped screaming, I asked him if he wanted me to hold him and he said "yes". He was sleeping in less than 10 minutes. Both kids had a late night that night and neither was in bed before 10:30 (their normal bedtime at home is 8).

Saturday morning Doug went golfing with his brother and cousins before the wedding and I ended up at Walmart again with my MIL, SIL, nephew, and Brooke. Ryan and our other nephew stayed at the house with my FIL. We came home from there and started getting ready for the wedding. The wedding was outside at the park. They got married at a gazebo. The weather held off. It was looking like rain, but ended up holding up until the reception was almost over. The reception was at a hall. The food was delicious! Getting Ryan to go to bed Saturday night went much better. Brooke fell asleep faster, too.

Saying their vows.

Right after the ceremony, which thankfully didn't last long because Brooke wanted no part of sitting still and being quiet, lol.

Too bad he's not looking at the camera : P.

They did a beach theme. The bride's aunt made the cake(s) and used crushed graham crackers to make it look like sand. The cake on the right has a heart drawn in the "sand"...very cute : ). Doug's aunt, mother of the groom, made seashell and heart shaped candy as favors. The cake AND the chocolates were delicious!!

Sunday morning we got up bright and early and headed out to visit another of Doug's aunts (his dad's sister) and uncle and their family that lives down that way and then left there to visit another uncle (his mom's brother) and aunt and their family that also lives in the area. His uncle has 3 horses and we got to ride 2 of them. That was really neat : ). I've never been on a horse before. It took some coaxing to get Ryan on one, but he did it and I was so proud of him : ). After we were done visiting, we headed back to his aunt's house for a cookout. There were a lot of people there and it was nice visiting with family.

They insisted I wear the hat : P.

Ryan actually went for a ride with Doug : ). And then went a 2nd time with our nephew, Cameron!

LOL. The look on his face kills me!

That's more like it ; ).

I had to include this picture because I JUST found this sling a couple days before we left after it had been MIA for a few months, at least. It turns out it was in the basket of a folded up stroller that I hadn't used in quite awhile. SO happy I found it before she's too big for it, lol. (Brooke was hot, hence being shirtless.)

We headed out Monday morning at 9:30 to make the L-O-N-G drive home! It went better than I thought it would, but I never want to drive straight through again. LOL. Ryan did AWESOME, never whining or complaining. He was a dream. Brooke did a lot better than I thought she would, but after about 6 hours, she started getting pretty miserable and alternated crying and sleeping. We ended up stopping a lot, at least 6 times on the way home. Mine and Doug's backs were killing us, too! It also sucked because we kept hitting rain on and off, but luckily it didn't rain the whole way home! We pulled in the driveway at 8:05pm and I was so happy and relieved to be home in one piece! It was a really fun weekend and I'm glad we went, but it is SO, SO nice to be home : ).

Leaving soon

2009-05-21T10:26:00.002-04:00

We were originally leaving for North Carolina tomorrow morning and driving straight through, but then I had the idea of leaving this afternoon, getting a hotel room about halfway for the night, and finishing tomorrow. So that's what we're doing! We'll actually be a little more than halfway, since we're staying in a hotel near Roanoke, VA. Doug had planned on working a full day at work, until 3:30, but he talked to his boss this morning about leaving early and actually should be home soon. We'll probably hit the road between 1 and 2pm. I think this will go much better with the kids, splitting the trip up, than doing it all the same day. Now I am mostly just nervous about traffic and such. In recent years (mostly since my sister and her best friend were hit by a drunk driver, killing her friend and nearly killy my sister, in February '05), I've had some major anxiety about being in the car, mostly on longer trips. I've gotten a lot better, but then the longest I've been in a car since June '05 (when we went to VA Beach) is just under 2 hours. I'm feeling the anxiety starting already. Doug is a good driver, but it's all the other cars on the road that I worry about. All it takes is one idiot and you can end up dead or seriously/permanently injured. I know it's morbid to think that way and I REALLY try not to....but sometimes those thoughts sneak in there. I'm sure I'll be praying a lot while we're on the road. It really calms me! Some Valium or Xanax might help, too, but I don't have any. LOL. (Nor have I *ever taken any....so knowing my luck, they probably wouldn't work or would make me sick anyway.) Anyway, I just wanted to tell everyone to have a fun, safe Memorial Day weekend!! : )

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-20T12:54:00.004-04:00

This butterfly (made by Lamaze, we got ours at Toys'R'Us) has been a big hit since even before she was big enough to play with it. The colors really held her attention when she was tiny.

5 months old

13 months old

One year!!

2009-05-18T10:37:00.003-04:00

One year ago yesterday, we brought Brooke home from the NICU! She weighed 4lb. 10oz. Three weeks ago, on April 27th, she weighed 17lbs. 2oz.! Not too shabby for a baby that started out at 2lbs. 10oz. : ). One year ago today, I posted this.

You know how I love comparison pics, so here's one! I remember what a hassle it was to have to use 3 blankets (one on each side and one between her and the crotch buckle) just to fit her properly in her carseat. And now look at her!! She doesn't hardly even ride in the infant carseat anymore, but of course I had to get a pic!

Honestly, whenever I took this pic last night (the one on the right, obviously), I didn't even know/realize I had one so similar from a year ago!! Seeing Ryan loving on Brooke doesn't happen too often these days, now that she is on the go and invading his space and taking his toys. But it does happen sometimes ; ).

Happy Homecoming Anniversary, Baby Girl!! We love you and can't remember what life was like before you were here....you complete our family! :*)

Thanks, Mom!

2009-05-16T10:43:00.003-04:00

Thursday morning, I left Brooke with my mom for a half an hour while I took Ryan for his kindergarten screening and in that time, my mom taught Brooke how to shake her head "no". She sure hears it enough, to know what it means! Now my sweet, petite, not-quite-14 month old tells me "no" when she doesn't want to do something : P. Oh, who am I kidding? "Sweet" would not be the first word I would use to describe Brooke. Not that she *isn't sweet, but the first words that come to mind when I think of her are ornery, feisty, and FUN/FUNNY. She doesn't play the sweet card too often. She really does make life SO much fun, though : ). Back to the "no" thing. I first experienced her telling me "no" yesterday morning when it was time to change her diaper. I sat down on the floor with a diaper, rash cream, and vaseline next to me and she started heading for the vaseline. I reached out for her and she stopped in her tracks, looked at me and smiled, and shook her head "no". LOL. Admittedly, it was way cute : X. She told me again at lunchtime when she was done eating. And again last night at my aunt's house when she was "stealing" licks from my/her cousin's popsicle and had had enough. So I would just like to thank my mom for teaching my daughter how to talk back already ; ). LOL. Payback, I'm sure!!

Kindergarten screening and evaluation

2009-05-15T13:23:00.003-04:00

Yesterday morning I took Ryan to the elementary school for kindergarten readiness screening. He did so well! Most of the things I knew he would have no trouble with. He wrote his name, first and last, even though he was only asked to write his first name. He drew a person. He knows all his colors and shapes and he can count WAY higher than 10 (the highest they "tested" him on). He can identify all letters uppercase and lowercase (and can read tons of words, too, but he was only "tested" on letters). He was able to correctly place a block on top of the paper, under the paper, behind his back, and "in front of Mom", when asked. He got all his opposites right. There were a few questions he struggled with, such as "What is a curtain?". His answer was, "You sleep with it." LOL. But he got some right, too, like "What is a ball?" and he said, "You bounce it." He was not able to stand on one foot (I knew he couldn't) and he wasn't able to walk placing one foot directly in front of the other on the floor (although I know he can do a balance beam with one hand assist). I left there feeling pretty darn confident on him going in to kindergarten, figuring he probably knows more than a lot of kids who have not already had 3 years of preschool under their belt or who don't have parents that care enough to work with them.

But then yesterday afternoon, we got his evaluation report in the mail that the school district did, and now I'm not feeling so confident. This is something that was done due to him already being in the IU8 program, to evaluate him and see if he qualified for special education. There were a lot of positive things in the evaluation, but there were also a lot of things that frankly depressed me : (. He does qualify for special education due to being visually impaired and he is also considered speech and language impaired. Something that was depressing to me is that when it comes to articulation, his speech is only at an equivalent of 2 years 10 months and he will be SIX in August. They also wrote that "His speech intelligibility during conversational speech is judged as poor to an unfamiliar listener due to some age-level articulation errors, but more significantly due to his weak voice volume." Volume is one thing they've/we've been working on all year in school. He does not ALWAYS talk quietly, but a lot of the times if he's "put on the spot", he tends to mumble and talk very quietly. On a positive note: His age at the time of evaluation was 68 months. In receptive language, he scored at 69 months and in expressive language, he scored at 65 months, with an average age equivalent of 68 months : ). Right on the money! He talks up a storm and he understands so much. Now it's just working on articulating and volume.

There were some other things that were a little disheartening to read, but I won't get in to all that now. Maybe another day. The bottom line is, he is listed as "Needs Development" in ALL areas: Personal & Social Development, Language and Literacy, Mathematical Thinking, Scientific Thinking, Social Studies, The Arts, and Physical Development & Health. But according to the scale used to evaluate him on school readiness, direction/position, self-/social awareness, texture/material, quantity, and time/sequence, his scoring was "average" overall, so hopefully he will do well and continue to progress as much in kindergarten as he has been the last few school years. (He is listed as "delayed" for direction/position and time/sequence, but "average" for everything else). His cognitive testing is a little alarming to me, though. His test results for that are as follows: Verbal IQ - low average, Performance IQ (nonverbal) - borderline (interpret with caution), and Processing Speed - extremely low. Full scale was determined to be borderline (interpret with caution). I will admit, I'm not 100% sure what some of this means, but the school psychologist is supposed to be contacting me and I'll be able to ask her for some clarification.

I am just hoping and praying that he does not get lost in the shuffle, especially when it comes to speech and interacting with his peers. I'm really nervous for my little man. I just want him to do well and continue to enjoy school and look forward to going. I will be a bundle of nerves, I'm sure, when he starts in the fall. It's true, he has come a L-O-N-G way, but he unfortunately still seems to have a long way to go.

(Not Quite) Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-13T18:18:00.005-04:00

When did he get SO darn big??

She has very good balance now! I stand her up like this. Sometimes she'll attempt to take a step, but falls right down ;).

That's not all...

2009-05-12T19:49:00.002-04:00

I totally forgot about 2 other events going on this month! I don't know how! On May 28th is Ryan's preschool graduation picnic : ). Should be fun! And on the 30th, they're having a Little Adventurers' Discovery Day at Idlewild Park that we plan on going to and that should be a lot of fun, too : ).

Busy busy busy!!!

Finally

2009-05-12T13:21:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was the first day since April 30th that my throat has not hurt! YAY! Having a sore throat really sucks. It's been a looong time since I'd had one and I forgot how yucky they are. Everyone is pretty much healthy here now, finally, and I am hoping and praying it stays that way! We have a lot of things going on in the next month.

Thursday I have to take Ryan for his kindergarten readiness screening. I am extremely nervous about him being in a regular mainstreamed classroom next year and I just pray that it all works out.

On Sunday, we have my cousin Hayley's birthday party. She turned 7 on the 5th (I think) and it's easy for me to remember how old she is because she is one month older than Zachary. His birthday is coming up on June 3rd.

On the 22nd, we leave for NC for a long weekend and I am dreading it. Eight to ten hours in the car with an almost 6 year old and an almost 14 month old is NOT my idea of a good time. Doug's cousin, Kyle, is getting married and we were invited. We'll be staying at his aunt and uncle's house, so we don't have to worry about paying for a hotel. Doug's mom, dad, and oldest brother, his wife, and their 2 boys are also going. His aunt and uncle come up here to visit about every year or so and two years ago, Doug's mom and dad took a trip down to see everyone. But Doug and his brothers haven't seen their cousins since their Grandma died 11 years ago. I've never even met his cousins, only seen pictures. So everyone is pretty excited. It will be nice to see everyone, but I am absolutely positively DREADING the car ride. And part of that does have to do with just the idea of being IN the car for that long and fear of getting in an accident. This used to be a HUGE thing for me and I've gotten a lot better, but the longer the trip, the worse I am : /.

On June 3rd is Zachary's birthday, like I mentioned before. We'll take flowers and maybe balloons to the cemetary that day and take some pictures. It's the only day I visit the cemetary. I don't feel the need to go there because I know only his body is there, not his soul or spirit. Some people like to go to the cemetary because they feel close to their loved one that way, but I've never been like that.

June 5th is my father-in-law's birthday and also our oldest nephew Tyler's birthday. Tyler becomes a teenager this year! So hard to believe. Whenever Doug and I started dating, Tyler was just about to turn 3 and his brother Cameron was about to turn 1. It just doesn't seem like it's been THAT long.

Then on the 7th of June, we have my cousin Tiffany's college graduation party.

It is going to be a busy month!!

Eye update

2009-05-11T17:15:00.002-04:00

Ryan was supposed to be there at 11:15 this morning. The surgery center called at 9:40 and asked if we could be there at 10:15, instead. I told her it wasn't possible since we live almost an hour away. So she asked if we could do 10:45 and I told her that should be doable. Luckily I already had the diaper bag and stuff packed and just had to dress Brooke and get dressed myself. We got there at 10:45 on the nose. We checked in and sat in the waiting room for around 10-15 minutes and then they took us back for the pre-op. stuff. We sat back there for TWO HOURS until they finally took him back!! It was getting extremely frustrating, especially since they called and had us come in early! Ryan almost cried as they wheeled him away, but the nurses were awesome at distracting him and pretending they were going to crash the bed and stuff. We went out to the waiting room and it was less than a half an hour until they came to get us for the doctor to talk to us.

It turns out that the pressure is very elevated in his right eye ("bad" eye). Normal pressure is between 10 and 21 and his was in the high 30s. He gets eye drops daily to control the pressure, but it doesn't seem like they're working anymore. He did NOT have his daily eye drop this morning because they normally don't have us give it to him, but the doctor said that would only probably take it down about 8 points and it would still be in the low 30s or high 20s. The great news is, Ryan's left eye ("good" eye) looks great! Whew! We hope and pray that nothing ever happens to that eye because he seems to have little vision in his right eye. The doctor wants to try switching Ryan's eye drops and see if that helps at all. He goes back on July 13th to get rechecked and let's hope that the pressure has come down. Prolonged high eye pressures can cause vision loss and we want to be sure that any vision he DOES have in his right eye is protected.

Then we had to wait almost 45 minutes until they took us back to recovery to see Ryan. They must've given him more anesthesia this time because I know it didn't take that long last time until we could see him and also in July when he went, he was pretty alert right afterwards and by the time we got in the car to go home, he was acting fine and not groggy at all. He even ate french fries on the way home. But today he was very sleepy yet, even until we left. He fell asleep almost immediately after we got in the car. We stopped at the mall really quick because I wanted to hit The Children's Place for sleepers for Brooke (we don't have one "here") and Ryan rode in the stroller and slept the whole time we were in there. Brooke slept part of the time, too...it was naptime! He woke up when we got in the car and asked if we could go to the mall (he knew we were going there when he was done), lol. We had to tell him he slept through it, but he wasn't upset. On the way home he ate a small bag of pretzels and we got him a burger and fries to eat at home when we got in to town. Right now he's playing Wii Sports : ).

I'm REALLY hoping that when he goes back in July, we have an early morning appointment again because I know it will go much faster! The last 2 times he's gone for this, we had to be there by like 7am and we were in and out much quicker. So here's hoping! We won't find out until the Friday before (the "surgery" is on a Monday) what time he needs to be there. :::fingers crossed:::

P.S. I have a super cute picture on my cell phone of Ryan wearing his surgical cap before they took him back, but I don't know how to get it on the computer : P.

Just wanted to say...

2009-05-10T07:28:00.004-04:00

I just want to say that I know there are a bunch of awesome moms that read this blog and I want to wish ALL of you a very happy Mother's Day. I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Tomorrow is the day Ryan goes for his sedated eye exam. I took him on Thursday for his pre-op. physical and he did great. He's getting to be such a big boy! I know he'll do awesome tomorrow, too : ). I'm a bit disappointed, though. His doctor schedules his patients at the surgery center youngest to oldest since they aren't allowed to eat after midnight. In the past we've had to be out there by like 7:00am. There must be a lot of young kids or babies tomorrow because we don't have to be there until 11:15am! So Ryan can't eat after midnight tonight (he goes to bed at 8). He *can have sips of clear liquids tomorrow morning up until 9:15. I really don't think he'll be too bad as far as not being able to eat or drink much, but I just wish we were getting it done and over with first thing in the morning like usual. Oh well! We'll definitely be stopping somewhere for lunch on the way home (we have almost an hour's drive)!

Well, that's all for now! Gotta go get ready for church : ). This is our first week going since Easter since someone has always been sick since then : P.

It's been a LONG two weeks

2009-05-08T13:36:00.002-04:00

Two weeks ago today is when Ryan got sick and ever since then *someone in this house has been sick! Of course the worst was when Brooke was so sick and miserable, but I've been sick for almost 2 weeks straight now. I first got it when Brooke got it, so on the 26th of April, Sunday. Really I just had the "sniffles". I was feeling better by the end of the week, but Friday night it started all over again. This time I got a sore throat, aches and pains, chills, and a fever. And I just felt wiped out. I actually went to urgent care on Sunday because I thought I might have strep throat. But I don't...or at least didn't then. My throat is STILL sore, but not *as sore. And (TMI) I have so much snot and mucous just sitting in the back of my throat, it is so disgusting. Then I have a cough, which loosens things up even more. It's the worst at night, like coughs usually are. I am just sick of being sick and of the kids being sick! Brooke's nose has been running a little bit today and she's sneezed a handful of times and I am hoping and praying it doesn't turn in to anything. Please, God? Spring is here, the sickies are supposed to GO AWAY!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-06T08:26:00.005-04:00

Ear infections and pink eye

2009-04-30T11:17:00.007-04:00

Sorry for going MIA. My last post was about Ryan getting sick last Friday. He ran a fever late in to Friday night, but Saturday when he woke up, he was feeling a lot better. Still coughing, but not acting sick.

Sunday morning, Brooke started sneezing and running a lowgrade fever. By Sunday evening, her fever wasn't staying below 100 and that was with tylenol and ibuprofen in her system and she was downright miserable : (. Sunday night was ROUGH. She was in bed with me, but woke up every 15-30 minutes (and 30 minutes is being generous). By the wee morning hours, I could tell I was getting sick, too. I also noticed that Brooke's left eye was seeping a ton and was all red. I suspected pink eye.

The kids both already had doctor appointments scheduled for Monday afternoon. Ryan was supposed to be getting his pre-op. physical for his sedated eye exam that was supposed to be this coming Monday (but I called Tuesday and rescheduled it for the 11th) and Brooke was supposed to have her 1 year check up. Instead they both went in for sick visits. They both have ear infections and I was right about Brooke having pink eye. I also had the doctor check Ryan's hearing because it seems he is having a lot of trouble hearing lately, I'm guessing (hoping) from being sick. Ryan was able to hear all the beeps. If he hasn't improved in a week or so, I'll be making an appointment with an ENT, just to be safe.

Here is what Brooke looked like Monday.

She ran a fever all day Monday yet, but it stayed lower than it was Sunday evening. She slept pretty well Monday night (MUCH better than Sunday night). By Tuesday, she was feeling a ton better : ).

In the 2nd picture, Brooke is standing at the TV and Yo Gabba Gabba is on. Personally, I'm not a big fan of that show, but she LOVES it and it's the only show that she gets excited about. It's really cute. And I think I have to give thanks to that show for her learning how to dance ; ). They dance all the time on there and she loves it. She also waves now...started that on Monday. We've been working on that for awhile : ).

And so he's not left out, here's a pic of my little man : ).

Unheard of...

2009-04-24T18:19:00.002-04:00

I know Ryan is really sick when he's sleeping at 6:00 in the evening. It is unheard of for him to sleep in the middle of the day, even when he IS sick, unless it's in the car. As the day went on today, he was coughing more and more. Around 4:00 I noticed he felt warm and checked his temp. Under his arm it was 100.1. He ate a little bit of soup for supper...but I had to feed it to him. He could hardly keep his eyes open. After he ate, he threw up a little bit of mucous (luckily it was on the linoleum in the kitchen, lol) when he was coughing. Yesterday, Grandma (my MIL) was over and told him that she would take him outside today. He was determined he was going outside, sick and all. It's beautiful out today, about 80 degrees. If he didn't have a fever, he might've went out. But I was not sending him out with a fever. Not to mention the fact that he could not stay awake. I'm not sure how long I should let him sleep! He was up a tad earlier than usual this morning, but nothing major. I just don't want him not being ready to go to bed his usual time (8:00) tonight. But with how miserable he is, I'm thinking he could probably sleep straight through from now until tomorrow morning : (. I hope he feels better tomorrow and is able to go out and enjoy the weather! It's supposed to be beautiful all weekend. I'm also hoping we can make it to church on Sunday. My poor baby :(.

Unbelievable

2009-04-24T10:26:00.002-04:00

Ryan is sick. Again. Coughing, sneezing, mucous....fun stuff. Here's hoping Brooke avoids it again. Please.

Yesterday evening, in pictures

2009-04-19T09:50:00.016-04:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day (today it is supposed to rain). Last night after supper, the kids and I went for a walk with Grandma (my mother-in-law). It was the perfect walking weather...not too hot, not too cool. I promised Ryan we would stop at the tiny playground a little ways down the street in order to entice him to come along because he did not want to go for a walk. He just wanted to play in the yard. At the playground, he gave me a heart attack by climbing up this ladder (with Grandma's help).

But he made it to the top in one piece!

He came down the big slide too fast for me to snap a picture, but I did get him on the smaller slide. Both slides are ridiculously steep and this small one is just dumb because there is NO way to smoothly slide down it because of it's shape.

Then it was time to let Brooke try the swings for the first time! I figured she would like them because she loves any kind of motion and I was right : ). Actually she loved them and was giggling at first! It was so cute : ).

Ryan has never liked the swing (except his regular baby swing inside) and still does not like them. We think a lot of it may have to do with his vision.

While I had Brooke in the swing, Ryan made his way up to the basketball court with Grandma where two guys were playing basketball. They were nice enough to let him play a little with them and one of them even held him up so he could make a few baskets. He loved it. He's so in to sports.

Then it was time to head home. I let Ryan play in the yard a little before we went in to get ready for bed. Him and Grandma were taking turns pitching to each other and batting.

While they played ball, Brooke had her first experience in the grass for this year. She didn't mind sitting in it, although I think if she'd had shorts on, it might have been a different story because she attempted to crawl a few times, but as soon as one or both of her palms would touch the grass she would pull them back up with a confused look on her face. LOL. She eventually got over it, though, and did crawl.

So there you have it...our evening, in pictures!

It came!

2009-04-18T22:34:00.005-04:00

Brooke's carseat came yesterday morning, less than 48 hours after I ordered! Holy fast shipping! I was so excited to see the box sitting in the kitchen when I got home from grocery shopping : ). After I got all the food put away, I opened the box up and pulled it out. I had to wait for Brooke to wake up from her nap to put her in it, but I was good and patient and didn't wake her up sooner, lol. She thought she was hot stuff, as you can see from the picture : ). So I already knew I loved the seat, but I was a little apprehensive about installing it in the car. The Cosco Scenera was a total PITA to get in properly and I am anal when it comes to installing carseats correctly (I wish more people were like that). I didn't get a chance to put it in until yesterday afternoon and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it seriously took me less than 5 minutes to get that sucker in correctly and so tight that it doesn't budge at all! I love LATCH! I didn't try it with the seatbelt, but with LATCH it was SO easy. And I didn't even have to use rolled towels under the seat so it was level like I did with the Scenera. The base on the Marathon is so much nicer. Brooke got to ride in her new seat for the first time yesterday evening. It was a breeze strapping her in and adjusting the straps to fit her securely, unlike the Scenera. I just LOVE the Marathon! I think I mentioned before that Ryan is in a Britax Regent. I love that seat, too! It is just so easy to use and is also an easy install in our car. He woke up early yesterday morning, so he ended up falling asleep while we were out and about, which rarely happens anymore!

P.S. I put Brooke down awake tonight at bedtime for the first time in awhile and for the first time ever (at bedtime), she went to sleep on her own! No fussing or crying, either! She's still doing awesome for naps, too : ). She's getting so big! Not sure if I should be : ) or : ( about that!

Score!

2009-04-15T11:45:00.002-04:00

I just ordered this Britax Marathon (isn't it pretty?) for Brooke from www.albeebaby.com. It is originally $279.99, but it is marked down to $179.99! Right now Brooke is in a Cosco Scenera that we got for $35 from Walmart that was really only meant to be a backup seat. It is a pain in the butt to adjust the straps in it. Ryan is in a Britax Regent (looking back, I wish I would've just gotten him the Marathon or Boulevard) and I really wanted to get a Britax for Brooke, as well. It just didn't feel right for Ryan to have one and not Brooke. Doug was not too keen on spending around $300 for another carseat (men @@, lol). I'd heard good things about the Evenflo Triumph Advances and I like how they go to 50lbs., so I was going to compromise and get her one of those. In fact, when I found this great deal on the Marathon, I was actually looking for a sale on the Evenflos and figured I'd just see what they had on sale in the Britax's. But then I found this and it's not much more than the regular price for the Triumph Advances, so I ordered it! The Marathon goes up to 65lbs., so it will be the only seat Brooke will need besides maybe a regular booster seat some day. Some of you probably think I'm nuts for being so excited about a carseat, but too bad : P. LOL. I love getting a great deal!

Computer Issues

2009-04-14T12:04:00.003-04:00

About 3 weeks ago, our computer monitor stopped working. Doug couldn't figure out what the problem was, so he hooked up the monitor from our old computer and it worked fine. About a week later, *that monitor quit working, too! So then he got one from his parents that they weren't using and was sitting in their attic. Guess what. Today, *it stopped working! At least *I can't get it to work/turn on. Doug will look at it when he gets home. Right now I'm on the laptop, but it doesn't always get a good internet signal, so it will be hit and miss. If we can't get any of the desktop monitors to work, I'm not sure what we'll do. I also don't have my pictures on the laptop, so I'm unable to put up Easter pics like I'd planned on doing today. Hopefully I'll get them on here eventually!

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Ryan slept all night last night. I started giving him some Sinupret, which smells like cherry cough syrup to me :::gag, puke, gag:::, but he took it without any problems. He still sounds congested and is coughing here and there, but he's doing well. Brooke is showing no signs of sickness so far. :::knock on wood:::

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Brooke's top front left tooth broke the skin on Saturday and the right one should be popping through any day now! They don't seem to be bothering her at all. She just doesn't like anyone's fingers poking around at them, lol.

Well, it's time to go get the kidlets lunch! Just wanted to post a quick update : ).

Round 50 of the Sickies

2009-04-13T12:55:00.002-04:00

Okay, so it's not really 50, but it sure feels like it. This year has been terrible for colds! Now it's Ryan again. He sounded stuffed up all day yesterday and last night I was awoken around 1:30 to him having a coughing fit and crying. I could tell he had some mucous that needed to come up and out and figured eventually it would and I knew he was NOT going to be happy about it. I was up for about an hour comforting him, cleaning him up after he did throw up a tiny bit, taking his temperature (99.9 under his arm), putting a Be Kool patch on his back, getting him a drink, and getting him settled back down and to sleep. After that, I didn't hear him cough too much the rest of the night and today he's been acting fine, though still stuffy and coughing a bit. Now I'm just hoping and praying Brooke somehow avoids getting it. I can't tell you the last time I was up with Ryan in the middle of the night while he was sick because now that he's older, he usually just sleeps straight through even when he's feeling crappy. As a baby, there were quite a few nights spent sitting up on the couch, holding him while he slept restlessly, attempting to catch a few winks myself. So last night brought back some memories from the baby days with him, although it went much, much smoother than it did back then!

I don't think I'll have time to post any Easter pics today, but hopefully tomorrow! Hope everyone had a great one : ).

Pretty as a Princess

2009-04-11T16:38:00.004-04:00

Even princesses stick out their tongues ; ).

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I also have to brag. This is the 4th day that Brooke has gone down for her naps awake and gone to sleep on her own! She's done this before, sporadically, but never kept at it. She is taking her 8th nap like this as we speak (she takes 2 a day)! (I used to always bounce her to sleep in her bouncy seat and then transfer her to her crib after she fell asleep.) The trick is to put her little blanket/lovey in there (obviously) and a couple small toys. Don't lay her down, but SIT her in there, turn on her crib toy and leave the room. She thinks she's just in there to play, so she'll lay down and go to sleep, lol. If I just lay her in there with her blanket, FORGET IT. Now if only I could get her to do it at night. The last time I tried, she just cried and cried. But that was at least a month ago, so I may have to try it again. Lately as soon as she's done drinking her night time bottle, she grabs her blanket and stuffs her thumb in her mouth and I cuddle her and she's out in like 2 minutes. So maybe I should try laying her down before she goes to sleep. But then again...I don't know if I'm ready to give up those cuddles yet :*).

Night #2

2009-04-10T12:24:00.008-04:00

I woke Ryan up last night at 11 to go pee, but again he didn't go. This morning he came in my room and I told him to go pee and he said in the saddest little voice, trying not to cry, "But my pants are all wet." : ( Poor thing. He'd peed himself and he was upset. I told him it was okay and accidents happen. Later in the morning he asked me if he could wear a diaper to bed tonight. I told him we'll see. Maybe I should try waking him later in the night (early, early morning) to try to go pee, but I don't always wake up myself. So that means setting the alarm and I'm afraid that will wake Brooke up. Hmmmm.

Anyway, here are a few pics of the kids, since I've been slacking in that department! The first ones are of Brooke this morning, eating sweet potatoes (thickened up with rice cereal). I was feeding her and she wanted the bowl. I just plopped some on her tray. She pretty much just played with them...licked her fingers a couple times, lol. Then there are a couple of Ryan eating a snack of peanut butter crackers and then he had some applesauce, too. And the last picture is of Ryan with his humongous pencil he got yesterday at school as a treat for his "Spring Party". He thinks it's THE coolest thing ; ).